Chapter 22: I want to be tied down

Chapter 22: I want to be tied down

‘I hope you won’t get hurt from now on and forever,’ Is that so? But why does he hurt in his heart instead?

After his mother heard about the sudden divorce and move back of her favorite

daughter-in-law, the house almost exploded. Pharada recited a long sermon to her son, but in the end, she had to accept it resignedly, unable to do anything.

“And you’ll regret it, Gear, if Nong finds someone else.” “What did you say, Mom?”

“You’re divorced now. Nong can be with anyone, and you can be with anyone too,”

The words “someone else” made heat rush out of his head. Both of his temples were throbbing instantly, but it was the truth, and he couldn’t do anything about it. Now, they had both transformed into just acquaintances.

“I’m going to work now, Mom.”

“Don’t be so absent-minded that you don’t do your job, Gear.”

Pharada twitched the corner of her mouth into a smile. No later than today or tomorrow, he’ll be rushing back to reconcile with Mangkon in Chiang Rai. Because his current state is still unbearable to watch. And when that happens, and he asks for her help, she will pretend to be indifferent.

“You learned to tie the knot, now you must learn to untie it.” Thirty-four years old already, my son.

The tall figure of the young inspector walked to work as usual. Today marked one week since Mangkon moved back to Mae Sai, but there was no place where he didn’t see images of Mangkon flashing through his mind–his round face, the sweet smile around his lips, and his teasing words.

‘I’m not used to being called ‘Inspector’.’ ‘I really want to punch the Inspector.’

“Why are you smiling, Gear?” Kanin saw his friend acting strange and asked. “Nothing.” Someone is lying.

“If it’s nothing, it’s nothing, right Nadol?” “Why am I involved in?”

Nadol, who had just arrived without knowing what they had been talking about, didn’t understand immediately. However, he was full of questions now about Mangkon.

“Nong Mangkon is strange, isn’t he? Moving here was so urgent, but returning was even more urgent.”

“Maybe there will be another urgent transfer order for someone,”

His cunning eyes narrowed slightly, and he looked at his close friend. Did he think he didn’t know? His concern for the younger colleague spilled out blatantly, as well as many things from the past.

Thian is totally suspicious. “What do you mean, Kanin?”

“I probably won’t see you in Chiang Rai anytime soon, will I?” Kanin said teasingly, but he thought it might be true.

“And why would I go?” “To find your heart.”

The answer was followed by a whistling sound, but it might be difficult because he had previously told Phuwin everything. And he was very, very angry. Even though Mangkon was in danger, why hadn’t anyone informed him?

“Why would I go? Looks like the heart is in Chiang Mai.” “Belle?”

“Belle has nothing to do with it.”

Thian was no longer in the mood to converse with Kanin. He quickly strode back into his private office, taking the previous words to think about.

He’s going to Chiang Rai like that? Hmm, I want to go right now.

The young inspector’s thick hand gripped the phone tightly until his knuckles turned white. His sharp, piercing eyes stared at the screen in the chat window. No matter how many messages he sent, they still hadn’t been opened by the small person. The last thing they talked about was when he replied to Mangkon, saying:

“I’ve arrived in Chiang Rai.” “Good.”

And since that “good” sentence, there had never been a reply… and it kept lingering in his head.

“Angry? Or annoyed already?” Angry about what?

If there were still messages being replied to, maybe it would make his heart feel a little better, but now he had to admit that his daily routine was bland, so withered.

No laughter.

No one to tease. No one to hug.

He just wanted to know how his ex-wife was doing. He thought that the only two people who could give him information were these two. Without hesitation, his long fingers tapped to search for the name and immediately called his beloved friend, and soon, he answered.

(What is it? Why are you calling?)

“Why do you sound so fierce?” The tone was starting to get aggressive, but you could still feel it.

“I’m going to ask how Mangkon is.” (Why do you want to ask?)

At this point, Phuwin knew everything. He was furious that Saming would do that. He used to be one of his close friends, and he knew that he had a secret crush on Mangkon, but the past is the past, he didn’t think he still kept it until now.

As for the marriage to fix destiny, even though Mangkon willingly complied, he felt very angry, with both Pharada and Thian. He didn’t know what he was thinking; there were million ways out and a million reasons, but he chose not to.

Phuwin loves Mangkon like a little brother. The more he saw the younger one move back and become visibly withdrawn, reluctant to answer questions, the more he pushed to find out the truth.

Thian is playing with Mangkon’s heart.

“I just want to know how Mangkon is after moving back.” (Better than when staying with you.)

His close friend’s tone seemed angry and incomprehensible before he hung up the phone abruptly. Thian could only exclaim softly, “What was that?” Ultimately, he had to be disappointed with the answer again.

“Then how will I know how Mangkon is?” So damn frustrated!

He just wanted to know, wanted to know how the other person was doing now, and why everyone seemed to be building walls to prevent him from getting close.

If he won’t help, I’ll find another way myself.

But the effort he had was unrelenting and unyielding. Thian’s thick hand groped for the phone to call the wife of the close friend from earlier again. Somehow, Lukplub has to help.

“Is Nong with you?”

(No, inspector. He’s out with and …er…)

“Is that Mangkon?” Definitely, has to be Mangkon. He called at the right time. “Can I talk to Mangkon for a bit?”

(Um, a guy is actually courting him right now, and P’Mangkon is chatting. He is busy) The line went silent for a moment before answering with a slightly tipsy voice.

“A guy is courting?” His thick eyebrows began to knit together tightly. (Yes, it has been a few days already.)

Who is that bastard, and how dare he court his wife? Thian gritted his teeth. It seemed everyone was purposely trying to prevent him from talking to his ex-wife. Back then, when Mangkon disappeared, he almost went crazy, but this was even more intense. He knew where he was, but he couldn’t find out anything about his well-being.

Was the divorce a mistake? But Thian was restless, incapable of being himself.

This evening, the young inspector had a date with his ex-girlfriend to pick out wedding favors at a department store in the heart of Chiang Mai. Belle was about to have good news; she was going to marry a Thai businessman she met in England. He genuinely felt happy for her. Their relationship was now just a good friendship, nothing more than that.

“Thank you, Thian, for helping Belle pick out the favors.” “You’re very welcome.”

“What’s wrong, Thian? You don’t seem yourself lately.”

Belle wasn’t imagining it. Her ex-boyfriend had been down for several days, sometimes lost in a daze, as if not in the present.

“Is it the case?” “Nah.”

It was difficult to put into words. As he was talking, Thian absentmindedly raised his hand to stroke the ring he was still wearing on his ring finger without realizing it. This caused Belle to widen her eyes and immediately ask.

“You said you didn’t have a lover, Thian. Why are you wearing a ring?”

“Ah, it’s…” Thian muttered, trying to find an excuse. He didn’t know what he was thinking, today he had just wanted to wear this ring.

“You can tell Belle anything. We’re friends. Is it the reason that’s making you feel down?” Thian sighed before speaking softly.

“It’s complicated, Belle. This ring doesn’t have that kind of meaning.” “Then why do you wear it?”

Silence filled the space. Many feelings were overwhelming, so difficult that someone who didn’t want to be tied down like him couldn’t cope.

“If someone comes into Belle’s life and suddenly leaves, but still leaves behind many memories, it’s a feeling you’ve never experienced before.”

“Do you feel afraid, Thian?” Belle raised her head to look at Thian. Her beautiful eyes showed understanding.

Thian met her gaze before nodding slowly, without saying anything, but his eyes conveyed the meaning clearly.

“Afraid of losing them or afraid of losing what you’ve always been?”

Thian paused, as if those words had struck a point he had never dared to admit. The young inspector looked away from his ex-girlfriend and stared far into the distance as if looking for the answer somewhere.

Belle immediately understood. Her ex-boyfriend was probably afraid of losing the identity he had always believed in. Thian once said after breaking up that he would never get into a serious relationship again. He preferred freedom to commitment.

“Have you found that person already?” Belle smiled and continued, “The person who makes Thian afraid of losing things, afraid of losing what you used to have, but also afraid of losing them at the same time.”

“The person who makes Thian want to be tied to someone.”

It was hard to admit that he had fallen deeply in love with his ex-wife.

They both walked to a quiet corner to have a talk. Before Thian decided to tell Belle the whole story, and she listened attentively without judgement till the end.

“May I tease? I’ve never seen Thian being like this before. A young police inspector with a heart that is….”

“Don’t tease me, Belle,” Thian replied in a tired voice with a faint smile that was rarely seen. “Then, how about I offer you some advice instead?”

“Thian, in one month, there’s only one day one. If you confess your love on day one, you might get married on day two. But if you’re too slow and confess your love on day two, he might get married to someone else.”

“And if I…”

“What do the desires that Thian holds within the innermost self? Do you want to confess your love on the first day, or do you want to lose him on the second?”

Belle’s words echoed in his head, piercing right through him like a warning. He saw the picture, saw it so clearly that he nearly exclaimed out loud!

Be it the first day, the second day, or even the thirtieth, he would never let that happen!

Thian clenched his jaw, his hand gripping the phone so tightly that the veins stood out clearly. His dark eyes shone with determination as if he had made up his mind about something.

The bedroom without Mangkon seemed too wide, too quiet. It wasn’t like the room that used to be warm and full of soft, constant, little complaints.

He didn’t want to sleep hugging a bolster anymore… He wanted to hug him!

He wouldn’t wait until the second day because he would confess his love on the first day, and he would never let anyone marry Mangkon instead of him.

How far is Chiang Mai from Chiang Rai anyway? Surely, it’s just a four-hour drive, maybe?