The Second Young Master’s Obedient Husband : Chapter 36

The night had grown deep.

Outside the window, the cuckoo bird was still calling, one sound after another, making one’s heart itch. In spring nights, all living things were in heat, even cats were calling for mates on the rooftops, let alone people?

Su Qingyu turned over, couldn’t sleep, turned over again, still couldn’t sleep.

The bedding was old, the coarse cloth worn soft, comfortable against the skin. But Su Qingyu lay on top of it, tossing and turning, unable to close his eyes.

His mind was full of that person.

That face with its sharp, clear features, eyes carrying a lazy smile, mouth always speaking lazy words. And that body, broad shoulders, firm chest, smooth muscle lines, those hands, long knuckles with thin calluses, burning hot when they touched his body.

Once he thought of it, he couldn’t stop.

Su Qingyu buried his face in the pillow, his heart beating fast, his body slowly growing hot, strange yet familiar, making one ashamed, yet making one unable to stop thinking.

…

Sweet, sticky, carrying the unique sweet fragrance of a ger. That scent was especially clear in the night.

The sweet fragrance grew increasingly strong.

…

That heartless man.

Su Qingyu buried his face deeper, those hands gripping tightly, his eye sockets burning hot, whether from urgency or something else he didn’t know.

If not for him, how would he have become like this?

A proper ger, not yet married, lying here at night thinking of a man, thinking of those wild things, making himself into this state. If people knew, how could he still face anyone?

Hated him to death.

Hated his face, hated his mouth, hated those hands, hated those teasing words, hated him for making one into this state and then not caring.

Hated him to death.

…

What was he himself like now?

Like a cat that can’t endure spring, spring arrived, meowing and calling for someone to love him.

Abandoning all shame, self respect, reserve.

His mind was full of that person.

Missing him.

That heartless man, that one who had a taste of meat and then left the person alone, that unfeeling lover who let go and didn’t care.

Missing him, hating him, missing him, hating him.

The room was filled with spreading sweet fragrance, carrying a bit of fishy scent. That was the unique breath of a ger when aroused, telling of the suffering of an unmarried ger who could not endure himself in this deep night.

Su Qingyu closed his eyes, and that face suddenly appeared in his mind.

If Liang Yu knew, that he was lying here, thinking of him, doing this kind of thing, what would he say?

He could imagine.

Those eyes would carry a teasing smile, then lean close to his ear, and with a hoarse voice, say some ear burning crude words:

“What’s this, missing me this much?”

…

One sentence after another, could make one so ashamed there was nowhere to hide, wishing one could find a crack in the ground to crawl into.

Su Qingyu buried his face in the pillow, muffled whimpering a few times, pounding the bedding, the force as if he were pounding that thoroughly bad person.

That heartless man, had a taste of meat and then left, tasted the flavor, and now left the person alone to busy himself. Leaving him alone, lying here, thinking of him, thinking of those things.

Su Qingyu raised his hand, covering his face. His palm was damp and hot, whether from sweat or tears he didn’t know.

That heartless man.

That unfeeling lover.

That… fated enemy.

When the heat and dampness receded, his body was soft as a puddle of water.

Su Qingyu lay on the bed, face buried in the pillow, breathing heavily.

Moonlight shone coldly on his body, shone on his white smooth skin, shone on the bedding in complete disarray.

Shame slowly crept up.

An unmarried ger.

His body already given to someone.

At night still thinking of a man.

Thinking until he couldn’t sleep, thinking until he made himself into this state.

Su Qingyu buried his face deeper.

If it were before, hearing someone say which ger was like this, he himself would probably widen his eyes in surprise and say: How could there be a ger so shameless?

And now?

Now he himself was such a ger.

Not only that, but even worse. Not only did he give his body to someone, but he let that person have him again and again in the mountains, using that grease, making sounds for him to hear, burrowing into his chest, holding his neck and not letting go.

Now the person didn’t come, and he still thought. Thinking until he couldn’t sleep at night, thinking until he made himself into this state.

What shame, what decency, what reserve of a ger, all gone.

That heartless one.

If not for him, how would he have become like this? A proper ger, well behaved, pure and clean, now in this state, all his fault.

Annoyance and hatred welled up, washing away that bit of tearfulness.

Hated him.

Hated him for having a taste and then not caring, hated him for being busy and not coming, hated him for making him into this state and then leaving him alone. Hated him for making him unable to sleep at night, hated him for making him do such shameless things.

Hated him to death.

But hating and hating, another scene appeared in his mind.

Gentle movements, tender kisses, food filled to overflowing, those soft words spoken by his ear after being satisfied.

If not for him, how would he and his mother have gotten through this winter? How would the medicine money be repaid? How would the land be planted? How would those single men eyeing him be dealt with?

It was he who pulled him back from the dead end.

It was he who gave silver, gave things, gave a way to live.

It was he who protected, so that no one in the village dared to speak idle gossip.

It was he who had people ask around, who found an honest tenant farmer, so that mother and son had stable income.

It was he who had people come plow the land, so that those beans could be planted.

It was he…

Su Qingyu buried his face in the pillow, his heart twisting in pain.

What was wrong with him? Just now he was hating him, now he was remembering his goodness again. Just now he was annoyed that he made him into this, now he felt it was his own lack of resolve.

That hate, that annoyance, now all scattered, leaving only a lump of indescribable grievance, blocked in his chest, blocking until one couldn’t breathe.

His eye sockets grew hot again, tears rolling down from the corners of his eyes.

He secretly cursed himself.

A useless thing.

But his body still remembered his goodness. Remembered his embrace, his warmth, those soft words of his. Remembered the thundering heartbeat heard when leaning against his chest, remembered that feeling of peace when held by him.

Su Qingyu sighed, lay on the bed, dispiritedly burying his face in the pillow, his body so soft he didn’t want to move at all.

No way around it, he just missed him.

Days passed one by one, the beans in the field bloomed, hanging in clusters on the vines, attracting many bees and butterflies. Those few mu of rented wheat also sent out ears, green and lush, wind blowing past, raising layer upon layer of waves.

Su Qingyu went to check the fields every two days, pulled some weeds, loosened the soil. Coming back he passed by that patch of blue brick and tile houses of the Liang family, his steps always slowed, then quickened to walk away.

That gate was always closed.

That small courtyard to the west, also no human figure visible.

Shuanzi had come twice, delivering some food and supplies.

Su Qingyu took the things and asked. “Is Second Brother Liang well?”

Shuanzi scratched his head. “Doing well, busy in the mountains every day, sometimes three to five days without coming down. Just yesterday he caught a big snake, this thick: hand to hand,” he gestured, “sold for quite a bit of silver.”

Su Qingyu nodded, and didn’t ask further.

After Shuanzi left, Su Qingyu stood in the courtyard looking at those things, looking for a good while.

Lying down at night, he still thought.

Sometimes he could sleep, sometimes he couldn’t. When he couldn’t sleep, his body wouldn’t obey, growing hot again, doing those things again.

After doing them he felt ashamed, after feeling ashamed he thought again, after thinking he grew annoyed, after being annoyed he remembered his goodness.

Back and forth, like a demon spell.