Rule No. 1: Don’t be too emotional : Chapter 24

“You are my favorite ex-boyfriend.”

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I leaned back against the headboard while P’Win nuzzled into me. His hands roamed all over my body. The only sound in the room was our heavy breathing and soft moans. I was letting my body and mind go, surrendering to every touch, when suddenly, a loud thud echoed from outside. P’Win didn’t stop; he was too far gone, focused on nothing but my body. I let out a faint moan as his hand brushed my inner thigh. A shiver raced through me at the light, teasing touch. It felt as if only P’Win and I existed in this world, and nothing at this moment could stop what was about to happen.

But the door being kicked open with a violent force was the exception. We both jumped in shock and confusion. Neither of us had time to process what was happening before I found myself screaming as P’Win was seized and hurled against a wooden cabinet with a deafening crash. His head hit the wood so hard he began to bleed. I shrieked, bolting upright from the bed. The violence continued as the tall figure wound up and drove his foot-clad in Converse Jack Purcells-straight into P’Win’s solar plexus, leaving him gasping for air, his faceturning blue. “P’Jane! P’Jane, stop! Don’t hurt P’Win!!”

I rushed forward and threw my arms around the 192-centimeter-tall frame as he used both hands to yank a bloodied P’Win up from the floor by his collar. But my intervention only caused the man consumed by rage to change targets. P’Jane dropped P’Win to the floor like he was a piece of trash before turning to look at me with eyes that made me feel crushed, unable to breathe. The P’Jane who had been sitting back all this time was breaking apart. His eyes were full of a murderous rage-flickering, fractured.

The demon that usually lurked in the shadows of his soul had now risen to dominate him. For a split second, as he raised his hand, I felt myself shrink like a doll pleading for its life. I was certain P’Jane was going to strangle me. But he didn’t. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me away. And I couldn’t resist him at all.

[Did you find them, P’?]

” I found them.”

[Right. I told you I saw your kid going off with someone. ] “I’ll get back to you.

Thanks a lot.”

[Sure, anytime. ]

“Don’t tell anyone about this. Understand?” His voice was cold and final.

[… Yes, P’Jane. ]

The tall figure cut the line and immediately made another call, his tone changing with a speed that was terrifying. “P’Sud, it’s Jane. There’s an injured person at Hotel LoveLux, Room 204. It might be good to get a brain CT scan. I’ll leave it to you. Yes. Thanks.” I couldn’t say a word as I sat in his car.

I didn’t dare resist or struggle, knowing it would only make things worse. P’Jane had eyes and ears everywhere. I knew that now more than ever. The freezing atmosphere in the car was nothing compared to the coldness of his condo when we arrived. The only thing burning hot like fire was his hand gripping my wrist before he threw me down onto the carpet.

“Is this what you wanted, Jane?!” His voice boomed through the room. I scrambled backward as he stalked toward me with the face of a demon. His towering frame seemed as giant as an ogre’s, his shadow looming over me.

“I asked you-is this what you wanted?!” SLAP! I shrieked as he slammed his hand onto a nearby table so hard that a pair of porcelain dolls fell and shattered. P’Jane didn’t care. He kept stepping toward me, intimidating me into a corner.

“Why? Am I that disgusting to you?!” I could only tremble. “You hate me that much, don’t you? To the point that you wouldn’t submit the essay I wrote for you-you’d rather take a failing grade. You threw away the flowers I gave you. You lied to me. You acted out. I knew everything, but l endured it. But this is too much, Jane! Why?! Why did you have to go this far?!”“ Don’t-!” I screamed and covered my ears as P’Jane grabbed a golf club from his bag and swung it, smashing everything in its path with a deafening roar. I was shaking with terror. He pointed the head of the club at me, his eyes blazing.

“I tried to understand that it takes time. I gave you as much space as you wanted. But what is this, Jane? Is this how you repay me? By refusing me, but letting him take you?!” “… ”

“And let me tell you something,” he continued, his voice like a thunderclap. “Proving loyalty to someone doesn’t require sex to be the deciding factor. The fact that he begged to be your ‘first’ just to tie you down shows how narrow-minded he is. If you stay with him, he’ll force you one day. He won’t wait until you’re ready like I did. Can’t you read people yet? Don’t you understand?” “… ”

“Oh.” His voice dropped, curling into a smile that made me break into a cold sweat.

“Or maybe you knew, but you didn’t care. You just didn’t want me to be your first that badly, huh?” “… ” “You hate me that much, then.” I shook my head frantically.

“I was kind, and you didn’t like it. You prefer me being the bad guy, don’t you?” I kept shaking my head like a madman. “Fine. I can do that.””… ”

“Come here!”“ No-!” “Come here!” I cried out as he tossed the club aside and pinned me to the carpet. He sat astride me, one hand pinning my chest while the other ripped my shirt until it was nothing but rags. Then, he flipped me over and used both knees to pin my legs so I couldn’t escape. I struggled as my forehead was pressed into the floor. His heavy hand pulled at my pants, indifferent to my feelings. He unfastened his own belt in a hurry. There was no way out-until suddenly, he stopped. He stopped like a car hitting a red light, a sudden jolt as if something had held him back. I was shivering violently when he punched the floor beside my head so hard it felt like the room would collapse. Then, the weight and the violence ended abruptly. I felt weightless as I was released. A final boom echoed as P’Jane turned and punched the wall with such force that a framed artwork fell and shattered. Broken, just like his feelings.

“Go. Go wherever you want, Jane.” The tall figure spoke without turning to look at me again. He disappeared into the bedroom, leaving me alone in the wrecked living room. The last image burned into my mind was his broad, lonely back and shoulders. My racing heart slowly began to calm. Suddenly, the terror I had felt vanished like a fog blown away by the wind. I sat there in the silence, processing everything. The truth was, P’Jane had never actually forced me. The truth was, I had been incredibly cruel to him. The tall figure sat alone on the deep blue bed, head bowed. His left hand gripped his right, which was starting to throb with pain. I watched him from the shadows for ten minutes before I finally stepped inside.

I approached him, hovering between bravery and fear, but l decided to follow through with my plan. I took his right hand to apply a cold gel pack. He stiffened for a moment, then jerked his hand away without looking at me. Oh, you big sulker. I decided to sit down beside him on the bed, feeling relieved that at least he didn’t chase me out. I knew I hadn’t just made him angry; I had humiliated him. I was his boyfriend-even if only in name-and I had challenged his authority by running off to have a fling with another man. The more people knew, the more P’Jane lost face. He controlled so many people, yet he couldn’t control his own boyfriend. At the very least, I should have shown him far more respect than that. I truly hadn’t considered his dignity or his feelings at all. I took his injured hand and pressed the cold pack onto it again. This time, I got up to get some tape to secure it. P’Jane didn’t jerk away this time, but he still wouldn’t talk to me. I took a deep breath and decided to place both hands on his shoulders from the front, summoning a “brave-face-toward-the-tiger” courage I had never used with anyone before. “P’Jane… ”

“Darling.” The hitch in his breath told me I was on the right track. I remembered that he liked calling me that. According to psychology, we say things to others when we want to hear them ourselves. I slid my hands up from his broad shoulders to wrap around his neck, taking a deep breath and forcing myself to lock eyes with him.

“Darling… Jane is so sorry.” Some might not understand why my feelings shifted so fast, considering I was terrified of him just moments ago. But I think it was the profound sense of gratitude-gratitude that he didn’t force me, that he let me go even after I had humiliated him so deeply. That mix of appreciation and strange guilt surged so strongly I could hardly bear it. The truth was, P’Jane had shown me respect all along. Human emotions are like this-and these feelings are mine, no one else’s. It shouldn’t matter how quickly I flip-flop; if others aren’t like this, it’s simply because they aren’t me. I’ve been like this since l was a kid: my emotions swing up and down easier than anything. But the moment I feel something, I act on it without hesitation.

“I was wrong. I’ll… I’ll try. It’s just really hard for me.” “… ”

“I kept thinking I was being forced, even though you’ve been nothing but good to me.””… ”

“I’m the one who was bad. I kept provoking you, acting out. I did things without thinking. I won’t do it again.”

“I’m here to make it up to you now. Forgive me… please?” I moved to sit on his lap, staring into his dark eyes. I saw them flicker and realized he was hanging on my every word. Okay, I have to survive this. Right now he was vulnerable; he might tell me to get lost as if he wanted nothing more from me, but what if he woke up tomorrow and decided to destroy me? I was indebted to him, and there was no escape. I didn’t want him to be cruel to me anymore, so I had to stop being cruel to him. I had to show him some sympathy… I had to erase my bias. Even if he wasn’t a “good” person, he had been sincere with me. Jane Patrick had a heart, too. Silence stretched between us as we stared at each other. I broke it again.

“Darling, you’re a big boy now, don’t be so sensitive. Jane is sorry.” “… ”

“Do you want me to hit myself? I’ll punish myself for you. Like this- I stopped when he caught my right hand, preventing me from hitting my own arm. I went silent, looking up into his eyes.

“Can you stop being stubborn with me?” His voice was thin, breathy, and laced with a plea. I nodded quickly as soon as I composed myself.

“Yes, I can.”

“Jane… don’t ever do that again.” His eyes trembled, radiating pain.” My heart was breaking… ”

“Why were you so cruel to me?” “… ”

“So cruel.””… ” “… I’m sorry, darling. I don’t know what else to say. I really was terrible.” The tall figure buried his face in my shoulder, his words pouring out like a flood.

“You make me a bad person. I want to be a good man for you, don’t you know? l… l… ”

“I know… Shh, it’s okay. Don’t say it. You aren’t wrong. It was me. Don’t blame yourself, blame me.” I held him, comforting him like a child. I realized then that P’Jane was shaking all over. In this moment, he was nothing like the P’Jane I knew. But everyone must have days like this-days when they are weak.

“Jane… ” He pulled back and breathed my name. I used my left hand to stroke his gaunt cheek before being the first to press a kiss against those full lips. P’Jane kissed me back. We shared four or five soft, lingering kisses beforeour lips were drawn together by pure desire. P’Jane ripped the tape and the cold pack off his hand, tossing them aside. He wrapped his arms around my waist while I used both hands to caress his shoulders and chest.

“Jane… ” he whispered hoarsely. I looked into his eyes and said what I truly felt at that moment.” I want to be yours, P’Jane.” P’Jane looked at me in disbelief before a look of pure joy took over. I didn’t let the moment go to waste. I reached out and began unbuttoning his shirt, showing him exactly how ready I was. P’Jane watched my hands, still stunned. I pulled my own shirtoff, sitting bare-chested on his lap.

“Hurry.” “… ”

“If you’re too slow, I might change my mind.” The hum of the air conditioner filled the dim room. Two naked bodies were intertwined on the wide bed. P’Jane gave me another feverish kiss. We tangled together like climbing vines, or like two snakes coiled so tightly there was no space between us. The heat from his body radiated into mine, especially the hard, burning press against my thigh. P’Jane didn’t rush the “game of love.” Today, he was meticulous, taking his time with foreplay-especially since it was my first time. His full lips moved to suck the soft skin of my neck and chest. He pressed a soft kiss onto the key pendant I was wearing. His hot hands stroked my sides, moving down to nip and tease my inner thighs. He ran his palms over my lap. I tossed my head back against the wide pillow.

“Mm… P’Jane… that tickles… Ah!” I moaned as he repositioned me, settling himself between my legs. His heavy hands moved to knead both of my nipples, applying firm, steady pressure with both palms simultaneously. The contrast in our skin tones was striking: his was a cool-toned Western white, while mine was a warm-toned Eastern white.

“Does that feel good?”

“Mm… ” He whispered the question, but I could only moan in response.

My nipples peaked against his palms. A shiver raced through me, and my skin flushed a deep rose. I felt a sharp, electric thrill everywhere he touched. P’Jane’s signature scent-not just his cologne, but a sexy, unique aroma that belonged to Jane Patrick alone-never failed to intoxicate me. P’Jane briefly pulled his hands away without getting off me.

I heard the sound of a drawer opening nearby. Lubricant was squeezed onto his large palms, and he coated his hot length until it was slick and glistening. He leaned down to kiss me again. I felt the cool, viscous gel touch the crook of my thighs before he positioned his heat at my hidden entrance and slowly began to push inside. “Ah!

Ow… !” I cried out as his “rod of love” breached my body for the first timne. Clear tears rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks. My hands, which had been clutching the bedsheets in preparation, immediately began pounding on his thighs. “It’ll only hurt for a second, Jane. Just a second.” “Hic… ”

“Just a second, sweetheart.” P’Jane’s gentle voice was soft, yet it reached every nerve in my ears. He soothingly stroked the back of my hand, where my nails were digging into his thigh. “You have to get through this part.” I held my breath and nodded through my tears. P’Jane thrust inward while I shrieked and continued to hit him. He was determined to get us past this hurdle. My breathing became erratic as I felt the novel sensation of his presence inside me. I wept, trying to push his powerful body away.

“I’m full… P’Jane, I’m too full!” “Baby, relax. Just relax.” The stinging pain lingered, so P’Jane told me to relax, but I couldn’t do it instantly. I heard him hiss through his teeth and let out a long sigh. He muttered something unintelligible, looking as if he were reaching the limit of his patience. I could feel him twitching excitedly deep inside me. He gripped my waist and spoke in a hoarse, strained voice.

“Jane… you’re pulsing so fast I’m going to lose it.”” Then… what should I do?”

“Just breathe slowly, Jane. Or I’m going to finish early.” His voice trembled with lust, sounding as though he was struggling immensely to prevent “heaven from collapsing” because my short, rapid breaths were causing my entrance to constrict erratically.

“There… that’s it. Good… “”“ Ah… !” As I regained control of my breathing, I began to loosen up. P’Jane took the opportunity to slide in and out until I felt a strange, heavy mass in my abdomen. His large hands spread my legs wide, pinning my thighs down with force, and he began to grind his hips slowly-emphasizing every heavy, steady stroke, much like his own unwavering nature. Every time he thrust… I couldn’t stop my pelvis from arching up to meet him.

“P’Jane… Ah… Ahh!” I could only gasp as waves of pleasure surged through my body. The scorching heat from his core and mine confirmed that this was all real. He thrust in and out in a slow, steady rhythm that pierced my heart every time he moved. His sharp eyes watched my flushed face and the way my body willingly consumed him, tightening and releasing in perfect harmony. In the dim light, his eyes were like two great lanterns, filled with the flames of lust. If he truly was a demon, he must have been utterly satisfied to devour me today. I closed my eyes and moaned. My body relaxed as I grew accustomed to the rhythm. P’Jane started slowly and artistically, like a Waltz. He allowed me to adjust to the “sport of love,” proving himself a first-class expert. His thumbs stroked the base of my thighs as lightly as feathers, sending thrills like mild electric currents through me until l writhed. The pain was buried deep beneath the overwhelming pleasure. My own member trembled as my sensitive spots were stimulated. I could feel moisture beginning to bead at the tip. But P’Jane wasn’t about to let the game end so easily.

He hooked my legs over his shoulders and planted his strongarms beside my head, changing the slow Waltz into a rapid, rhythmic Tango that made my eyes snap wide. “Ha… Ah… P-P’Jane!!” My hands moved frantically, half-clinging and half-pushing against his shoulders. Sometimes I pounded on him in protest when I felt too full; his full size was no joke. I realized instantly that I couldn’t take much more, but P’Jane was a man possessed, intoxicated by lust and struggling to control himself. “So tight… ” “Endure it for just a little longer, sweetheart. Just a bit.” His hoarse voice comforted me even as he thrust rapidly. Eventually, I grew used to his size. I was like a rabbit in a lion’s paws, fighting on this battlefield. P’Jane mounted me, kneeling on his toes and riding me like a stallion until my hips lifted off the bed. I cried out, the sound echoing through the room, before my hands finally moved to grip the back of his shoulders to release the tension. I tilted my head back against the pillow as the tip of his member struck my pleasure point. He hit it repeatedly until my legs shook, the dam of pleasure on the verge of breaking.

“Ha! Hic… it feels too good… I can’t… I’m going to finish! I’m going to finish!” I wailed as “heaven” appeared just within reach. He moved my legs to wrap around his lean waist, and I clamped them onto him like a magnet. He panted, staring at my face, his black hair damp with sweat and falling over his eyes, swaying with every movement of his powerful body. Then he whispered: “You once asked me what the name ‘Jane’ was short for, right?” I cried out as my own member rubbed against our stomachs, leaving a slick, sticky mess between us. His large hand stroked up from my abdomen, making my skin crawl with pleasure. He gave a predatory smile.

“It stands for Jane-jud (Expert). Just like this.” The sight of him controlling me from above was indescribable-handsome, indescribable-handsome, sexy, wicked, and utterly captivating. Yes, that word was him. He was Jane… the Expert. He was never ordinary. Waves of pleasure flooded my abdomen until I couldn’t respond. His hands roamed my body, caressing every inch of my skin with such affection that I felt shy all over again, despite what we were doing. Finally, I couldn’t hold back any longer when he leaned down and took my nipple into his mouth. He sucked until his cheeks hollowed, the sound loud and wet, as if it were a delicious dessert. He gave one final, deliberate thrust that sent me arching off the bed. It was just one focused hit, but it felt like an electric shock.

My eyes flew open, my breath hitched, and he continued to suckle. His powerful hips ground into me once more. The muscles in my legs twitched strangely. A sharp, sweet sensation shot through me, followed by a long cry from my throat. My entire body went limp. I had finished. I panted against the large pillow, my heart racing. I had tried to hold it back once, but in the end, I couldn’t resist. I was sated. I closed my eyes and moaned as P’Jane slid down to kiss me. He remained inside me, and he seemed to have grown even larger. He held me, stroking my hair gently as he kissed me, coaxing and comforting me for a long time. I never knew he could be this sweet. Also, did I ever mention that P’Jane is an incredible kisser? He kisses with a crushing intensity, a masculine assault that makes you feel like an innocent child, even if you’ve kissed many times before. He always makes it special.

“Mm… ” I cried out as P’Jane lifted my entire body, hooking his arms under my knees. He stood on the floor while I clung to his shoulders, terrified of falling. I wanted to tell him I was heavy, but I couldn’t speak; I could only pant at the sensations he provided. P’Jane ground his hips into me with a rapid-fire rhythm like a machine gun until my head spun. Then he slowed down to a languid pace, rocking me up and down while still inside me. My buttocks rubbed against him, his firm abs and strong thighs. The sensation was so intense I had to curl my toes against the air. He was so strong. Our necklaces clattered against our chests-the key and the padlock. They became tangled together, but we had no time to worry about untying them. He kissed the top of my head.” Jane… from now on, be a good boy.”” Ah… yes.” I nodded, eyes closed, clinging to his body.

“Jane will… be a good boy… ” My legs lost all strength; if he hadn’t been holding them, they would have fallen. P’Jane sat back on the bed, letting me straddle his lap. The tangled necklaces snapped apart from the tension, but then P’Jane took my key and inserted it into his padlock, locking them together-making us one. We faced each other as he taught me how to move. His hands supported my hips loosely, telling me to try tilting my pelvis. He told me to try it myself. I started moving awkwardly, feeling shy, until I got the hang of it. Then we both sped up toward the finish line. P’Jane thrust upward as we reached for the edge, the sound of skin hitting skin filling the air. Only heat surrounded us. His right hand gripped my left tightly, passing his warmth into me, while his other hand helped me along. I buried my face in his shoulder.

“Jane, do you know… ?” “… ” “You’re the ‘ex’ I like the most.” I pressed my forehead against his shoulder, my back arching until my spine was visible as I let out a long cry, reaching the peak for a second time, just as P’Jane released powerfully as well. I panted, collapsing onto him completely spent. He remained inside me for a long time, savoring the moment. I let him do as he pleased until, finally, he carried me to bed and tucked me in. He held me under the covers. I lay in the crook of his arm, my eyes blurring as sleep approached. We kissed several more times-no, he kissed me. No, we kissed, because I kissed him back. Whatever. I was so exhausted I didn’t hear any more questions. My body prepared to shut down. It was amazing, yes, but it wvas my first time. It still hurt. That day, I didn’t tell him one truth. The truth that… He was the “ex” I liked the most, too.