Holding the Emperor Hostage : Chapter 3: Iron Works Too

Jiang Yang was so furious he laughed, scarcely believing his own ears. “What did you say?”

In his shock, he had even forgotten every protocol he was supposed to observe when appearing before the emperor.

Yin Shuhuai had originally felt somewhat guilty, but once the words left his mouth, he decided he had nothing to feel guilty about. He sat up straight, full of righteous confidence, and patiently repeated: “The laws of our ancestors cannot be violated… unless you add more money!”

Yin Shuhuai had his own logic for saying this. He knew that the Grand Commandant’s faction wanted to depose him, and had even held a banquet to discuss the matter. But since they hadn’t actually deposed him, hadn’t poisoned him with a cup of wine, and had instead come to the palace to respectfully request that the Grand Commandant be promoted to Chancellor rather than simply issuing the edict themselves, this proved that he, the puppet emperor, still had some value to them.

Since he had value, that meant there was still room to negotiate!

Since there was room to negotiate, Yin Shuhuai figured he had to set conditions at the bargaining table!

This time, Jiang Yang heard every word clearly, yet he would rather he hadn’t.

Jiang Yang forced down his rage, even wondering if Yin Shuhuai had gone mad. “Your Majesty, honored as the Son of Heaven, would dare to sell offices and barter titles…”

Yin Shuhuai smiled faintly. He didn’t mind being accused of selling offices and bartering titles, and merely asked with endless good temper: “Did Minister Jiang and the Grand Commandant receive the letter of surrender I sent last night?”

Jiang Yang’s gaze sharpened. He involuntarily straightened his back and once again looked directly upon the imperial countenance. At this sight, his gaze wavered for a moment.

Rumors in the streets said that the reason the powerful eunuch Zhang Jian had supported Yin Shuhuai as emperor was not merely because Yin Shuhuai was the eldest son of Emperor Li, foolish from childhood, but because Zhang Jian regarded Yin Shuhuai as his private possession.

Jiang Yang, having followed the Grand Commandant in killing Zhang Jian, naturally knew those rumors were baseless nonsense. Zhang Jian had supported Yin Shuhuai as emperor precisely because Yin Shuhuai was foolish and obedient, easier to control than ordinary people. And on his previous audiences with the emperor, Yin Shuhuai had indeed behaved foolishly and stupidly, muddleheaded like a child.

Only now, the emperor who had bared his fangs stood before him like a brilliantly colored viper. Jiang Yang had to admit that the reason street rumors spread throughout the world was that they had their own logic.

“Is Your Majesty threatening the Grand Commandant and me?” Jiang Yang asked, neither haughty nor humble.

Yin Shuhuai scratched his head, then stood up.

From Jiang Yang’s perspective, the emperor who was no longer pretending to be a fool slowly walked up to him. His gaze looked down through the slightly swaying twelve tassels of the imperial crown, falling upon Jiang Yang’s body. Only when Jiang Yang lowered his eyes and knelt prostrate on the ground did this young emperor speak with calm confidence: “I have always admired the Grand Commandant’s eminent virtue and high prestige, and I believe that with the Grand Commandant’s qualifications and reputation, he is fully capable of serving as Chancellor! It is only a pity that the laws of our ancestors cannot be abolished…”

At this point, Yin Shuhuai’s gaze fell upon the top of Jiang Yang’s head, and he emphasized again: “Unless you add money.” He absolutely had to improve his meals!

Jiang Yang raised his head again, staring at Yin Shuhuai in stunned disbelief. All the probing and lecturing he had prepared on his way here, he could not now utter a single word of.

Yin Shuhuai immediately saw through the resentment Jiang Yang was choking back, but he didn’t care. Though he wanted to beg for mercy and preserve his life, he also understood the principle that “those who seek peace through struggle will preserve peace; those who seek peace through compromise will lose peace.” If he didn’t demonstrate his own strength and merely kowtowed and begged for mercy, Huo Yan and his followers would never spare his life out of pity for his weakness and innocence.

Only by letting Huo Yan and the others know that he truly had value would they reconsider whether to continue supporting him as their puppet emperor.

Most importantly, the food in the Great Yin Dynasty was simply too terrible. If he didn’t find some way to improve his living conditions, what difference was there from just suffering alive? He might as well die quickly! He might even be able to take his game account with him to his next life.

Speaking of which, he had crossed over with his game account. If he died, would he respawn at a lower level, or would he really kick the bucket?

Thinking of this, Yin Shuhuai’s smile grew even warmer. Quite considerately, he added: “Actually, it doesn’t have to be money. If the Grand Commandant shows sincerity, adding some iron would work too.”

Yin Shuhuai, who loved reading miscellaneous books in his spare time, indicated that he had read Lu Xun. He knew that “the Chinese temperament always prefers compromise and mediation. For instance, if you say this room is too dark and propose opening a skylight here, everyone will certainly refuse. But if you advocate tearing off the entire roof, they will come to compromise and be willing to open the skylight.”

Yin Shuhuai figured that if he asked the Grand Commandant for money, the Grand Commandant might not be willing to part with it. But if he asked for some scrap copper and iron, the Grand Commandant probably wouldn’t fuss. And he could also use this matter to perfectly demonstrate his value as a bargaining chip.

Sure enough, as soon as his request left his mouth, Jiang Yang’s attitude immediately changed. Jiang Yang blinked, and his fierce face actually looked somewhat blank.

Under Jiang Yang’s bewildered gaze, Yin Shuhuai explained with a cheerful smile: “The food in the palace is inedible. I wish to forge an iron wok, an iron griddle, and a wire mesh to cook food with. But the eunuchs say that without the Grand Commandant’s permission, the palace cannot forge iron on its own. I truly have no other option, so I can only request that the Grand Commandant make things convenient.”

To exchange a mere iron wok, iron griddle, and wire mesh for the position of Chancellor, Yin Shuhuai felt he had already humbled himself to the extreme. Surely that ambitious Grand Commandant could see from this his weakness and incompetence, his desire for comfort, and his determination to be a willing puppet.

Since Huo Yan only wanted to prop up a puppet emperor, rather than establishing a new emperor, he might as well continue supporting this waste. After all, no one understood better than him how to be a puppet. So thought Yin Shuhuai, who had only crossed over two days ago and hadn’t even learned the names of all the court officials and palace servants.

Jiang Yang’s mind went completely blank under Yin Shuhuai’s smiling gaze. He racked his brains and searched his guts, deliberating for a long while, before squeezing out through gritted teeth: “Your Majesty selling offices and bartering titles is hardly the conduct of a wise and enlightened ruler.”

“Mm.” Faced with Jiang Yang’s like subtle resistance, Yin Shuhuai accepted the criticism readily and positioned himself precisely: “I’m just a puppet emperor.” He understood. He would cooperate properly.

Jiang Yang: “…”

Yin Shuhuai smiled and said: “If Minister Jiang cannot decide on his own, you might as well go back and discuss it with the Grand Commandant first.”

When Jiang Yang left Weiyang Palace, his steps were unsteady. He walked out of the palace gates with a blank expression, sat in his carriage with a blank expression, and until he returned to the Grand Commandant’s mansion, his expression was completely disordered.

*

“…What did you say?”

A furious roar startled several crows from the trees.

In the Grand Commandant’s mansion, Huo Yan and the others’ reaction to “add money” was no better than Jiang Yang’s.

Commandant of the Palace Guards Dong Wan opened his mouth several times, wanting to speak but stopping himself. In vain he considered himself learned and well-read, yet he couldn’t find a single word to precisely describe his mood at this moment. Truly, military officers at times like this still couldn’t compare to civil officials, could they?

Several advisors who prided themselves on holding pearls of wisdom also couldn’t help scratching their heads, unable to figure out what kind of fit this young emperor was having.

Throughout history, only treacherous eunuchs were corrupt and greedy. When had one ever heard of an emperor demanding bribes?

Could this young emperor truly be relying on his killing weapon in hand, so he wasn’t even bothering to act anymore?

“Simply outrageous!” Huo Yan slammed the table, so angry that smoke was practically coming from his seven orifices. He had been a hero for half his life; others had always fawned upon him, or he had bestowed favors upon his subordinates. When had he ever suffered such indignity?

“That yellow-mouthed child, does he truly think this old man fears him?”

Fan Juan was silent for a moment, then gently shook his feather fan and spoke in a warm voice to persuade: “Why must my lord be so angry? The emperor is muddleheaded and incompetent, openly demanding bribes from his ministers. This is clearly the omen of a foolish ruler bringing disaster upon the state. Why doesn’t my lord make this widely known and see how the entire court and all the officials react?”

Fan Juan didn’t care whether the young emperor was deliberately playing the fool to deceive the Grand Commandant, or was truly blinded by greed and lust for money to the point of not caring about his life. Previously, the Imperial Censor Liang Gong had opposed Huo Yan’s plan to depose the emperor and establish a new one on the grounds that “the emperor is the eldest son of the previous emperor and has committed no faults since his succession.” But now the emperor was behaving so greedily and shortsightedly. Since his succession, he had not only accomplished nothing, but now wanted to extort his ministers and sell offices for money. How could such a foolish and incompetent person be fit for great responsibility? They might as well use this as grounds to depose him and establish a wise and enlightened ruler. This would also let the people of the world know that the Grand Commandant’s reason for deposing the old and establishing the new was not for personal gain, but for the sake of the Yin Dynasty’s rivers and mountains…

Huo Yan listened with bright eyes, his heart pounding with excitement.

Just at this moment, someone spoke up uneasily: “But if something happens to the emperor, won’t he send someone to assassinate my lord tonight?”

They hadn’t forgotten that at midnight last night, a white flower and a note had quietly appeared on Huo Yan’s chest.

The remaining forces of the Night Owl were renowned throughout the land. Who would dare to gamble with their own life?

Once these words were spoken, it was like a bucket of cold water poured over their heads, directly dousing everyone’s enthusiasm.

Huo Yan hammered the table in shame and anger. Only now did he ask resentfully: “What did he say he wanted?”

Jiang Yang, who had only managed to speak two sentences before being rudely interrupted by the Grand Commandant, immediately replied: “That young emperor wants to forge iron implements in the palace.”

In fact, Yin Shuhuai’s original words were a request that the Grand Commandant permit him to forge an iron wok, iron griddle, and wire mesh in the palace. But how could Jiang Yang believe that this young emperor would go to such great lengths, even exposing the existence of the Night Owl’s remaining forces, just to forge a few iron woks and griddles to cook food with?

Sure enough, when the others heard this, they automatically translated it to mean that Yin Shuhuai wanted to use the position of Chancellor to ask Huo Yan for control over the salt and iron monopoly, or at least control over the iron mines.

It was just that the Yin imperial house had been hollowed out by various powerful ministers for a long time. Since the young emperor’s succession, he had played the fool and accomplished nothing, holding no real power in his hands. To rely solely on the Night Owl’s remaining forces threatening lives in order to force the Grand Commandant to relinquish power, such thinking was far too naive.

Huo Yan pondered for a long while, then suddenly sneered coldly: “It’s just some iron implements, that’s all. Very well, I shall play along with his scheme and agree to see what other tricks he can pull.”

Everyone present nodded in deep agreement.

Since the young emperor was being evasive and hadn’t spoken plainly, they would pretend to be confused while understanding perfectly. They would give him an iron wok, an iron griddle, and a wire mesh, and see what move he made next.

With the plan settled, advisor Fan Juan added: “Since His Majesty enjoys humiliating himself, my lord might as well indulge his wish.”

Although they couldn’t use the emperor’s foolishness as grounds to depose him and establish a new ruler, letting the world know about the emperor’s absurd conduct in selling offices for money was not without benefit to the Grand Commandant.

At the very least, it would let the world see clearly what kind of person this child emperor was. It would also let the pedantic people in court who opposed the Grand Commandant’s plan to depose the emperor know that the Grand Commandant’s actions were not rebellion, but that the current emperor was truly unfit for the task.

Huo Yan clapped his hands in delight upon hearing this plan. He immediately ordered people to spread rumors of the emperor demanding bribes. He even specifically had people stand outside Imperial Censor Liang Gong’s mansion, loudly discussing this matter.

A servant of the Liang household who was just preparing to go out to buy vegetables was stopped at the door by a servant of the Grand Commandant’s mansion and gossiped about in the street. After the gossiping was done, the servant didn’t even buy vegetables, immediately threw down his basket and returned to the mansion to report this matter to the Imperial Censor.

When Liang Gong heard this strange tale, he was so shocked his eyes went straight. He immediately threw aside the white flower note he had been studying all morning without understanding it, ordered his carriage prepared, and entered the palace to remonstrate with the emperor.

At that time, Yin Shuhuai was patiently explaining his requirements as the client to a palace maid.

The reason was that when Yin Shuhuai got up and changed clothes that morning, he discovered he was still wearing open-crotch pants. And as a civilized, polite, and moral modern young person, Yin Shuhuai truly could not endure having his crotch open in public. This was far too shameful and gave far too little sense of security, even if everyone else was the same as him.

Moreover, the weather was so cold, and Yin Shuhuai was worried that wearing too little would not keep him warm enough, sending him down the same road as his “predecessor” who had died of wind-cold.

So after Jiang Yang left, he had urgently called for a palace maid and handed over his designs for new-style underpants and long johns.

Compared to forging iron cooking implements in the palace, this matter was much easier to handle. The palace had maids skilled at needlework and embroidery. Yin Shuhuai only needed to draw the style of underpants he wanted and hand it to the palace maid serving him. In less than an hour, the weaving room responsible for making clothes for the palace nobles delivered the newly made underpants.

Unfortunately, the freshly minted emperor hadn’t even had time to put on his sealed, warm new pants when a young eunuch announced in a loud voice that Imperial Censor Liang Gong requested an audience with His Majesty.

Yin Shuhuai had an excellent memory and immediately recalled that this was the good person who had spoken up for him at the banquet hosted by Grand Commandant Huo Yan last night! If he had even met Jiang Yang, that great rebel, how could he not meet Liang Gong?

Liang Gong entered the palace full of anger. But when he saw the handsome and smiling emperor before him, his emotions instead calmed. He sighed deeply, thinking: forget it, the emperor is of simple and honest character. Since his succession, he has trembled with fear and walked on thin ice. How would he dare to commit such absurd acts as selling offices for money? It must be that scoundrel Huo Yan, in order to depose the emperor, deliberately spreading these rumors to slander His Majesty’s good name!

“I have heard some rumors in the streets…” Liang Gong concisely summarized the gossip deliberately spread by the Grand Commandant’s servant standing outside the Liang mansion, and asked with a grave expression: “I wonder if these rumors are true?”

Yin Shuhuai nodded obediently and said anxiously: “Commandant of the Palace Guards Jiang Yang came to the palace today and told me the Grand Commandant wants to be Chancellor. But the laws of our ancestors, how could they allow one person to hold both the positions of Grand Commandant and Chancellor? I didn’t dare stop him, so I told him that I agree to the Grand Commandant becoming Chancellor, but the Grand Commandant must also permit me to forge iron woks, iron griddles, and wire mesh in the palace to cook food.”

Liang Gong didn’t understand what connection there was between Huo Yan wanting to be Chancellor and the emperor wanting to forge iron woks and griddles in the palace, but he still reprimanded him with heartfelt pain: “Your Majesty is muddleheaded!”

“Does Your Majesty know that Huo Yan has already sent people outside the palace to spread word that Your Majesty is selling offices and demanding bribes from ministers?” Looking at the emperor’s bewildered expression, Liang Gong explained with endless patience: “Your Majesty must know that this is absolutely not the conduct of a wise and enlightened ruler. In the future, when the court and countryside criticize, they will not say that Huo Yan is arrogant and power-hungry, but that Your Majesty is a foolish and unprincipled ruler.”

Yin Shuhuai silently shed tears: “But if I refuse the Grand Commandant, what if he kills me in anger?”

Liang Gong was momentarily speechless. He wanted to say that scoundrel Huo Yan would absolutely not dare to do so, but the lesson of the previous emperor was still fresh in his mind. The bones of the four previous emperors were not yet cold, and Liang Gong couldn’t be certain that Yin Shuhuai wouldn’t become the fifth emperor to die in vain.

After all, Huo Yan had declared at last night’s banquet his intention to depose the emperor and support the Prince of Dai.

Thinking of this, Liang Gong’s brow twitched, and he couldn’t help but recall the paper flower and note he had found in his bosom that morning. The message had clearly been from the emperor.

“Your Majesty…” Liang Gong wanted to speak but stopped. Because he suddenly realized that Yin Shuhuai’s words today were actually logical and clear, completely without his usual foolish stupidity.

Connecting this to Yin Shuhuai’s deeper meaning in exchanging the position of Chancellor for permission to forge iron implements in the palace, Liang Gong seemed to suddenly understand something. He gave the emperor a meaningful look, and the questions that had reached the tip of his tongue were all swallowed back down.

“Please rest assured, Your Majesty. This humble minister will certainly make the entire court understand Your Majesty’s deeper meaning and bitter circumstances, and will never let the rebel’s plot succeed.”

At the very same time that Liang Gong was making this solemn vow, after making the emperor’s demand for bribes known throughout the world, Grand Commandant Huo Yan, upon advisor Fan Juan’s suggestion, also assembled ten cartloads of precious treasures and sent them to the palace.

The procession was grand and imposing, circling around the capital city, thoroughly cementing the emperor’s reputation as a foolish ruler who sold offices for money.