Between Us : Chapter 19: Are You Stupid or What

Worried that the delivery man might ask too many questions upon seeing a stranger, Chen Qian grabbed his keys and went downstairs. He had only descended a few steps when he heard clanging sounds.

Reaching the third floor, Chen Qian was completely stopped in his tracks. He stood rooted before a grimy wooden stepladder, looking up to ask, “What are you doing?”

At the very top of the ladder, Xu Jue sat with his legs spread, both hands raised high as he fiddled with the ceiling light fixture. “Changing the lightbulb. Stand back, don’t let dust get on you.”

The ladder was old, with splinters sticking out everywhere. Chen Qian didn’t care and walked over to help steady it for Xu Jue. “Weren’t you picking up a package? How did you end up here fixing lightbulbs halfway through?”

“I bought lightbulbs. Since I had free time, I figured I’d change them while I was at it. Your package is over there.” Xu Jue pointed toward the stair railing. Looking down, he saw Chen Qian standing beside the ladder and added, “Don’t touch the ladder, you’ll get your hands dirty.”

Chen Qian looked at his palm and indeed found a layer of dust. “Where did you find this ladder?”

“Found it in the garage downstairs. It’s pretty sturdy.” After changing several bulbs in succession, Xu Jue broke into a sweat and casually wiped his temple. “I’m coming down.”

With a long stride, Xu Jue nimbly stepped down two rungs at a time. The wooden ladder, which had just been praised for its sturdiness, wobbled under the weight of over a hundred pounds, and Chen Qian grabbed it firmly.

The bottom two or three rungs were broken. Xu Jue, who normally had no trouble scaling walls, simply let go and jumped straight down. He hadn’t expected the ladder base to slide a small distance across the floor this time, causing his center of gravity to shift before his feet found solid ground.

As he fell, Xu Jue’s gaze drifted across Chen Qian’s face in a daze. Before he could blurt out “move aside,” the other person had already opened his arms in a welcoming gesture—

His arms full, Chen Qian was forced back several steps by the powerful impact. He couldn’t even keep his fuzzy slippers on, and his back slammed hard against the wall behind him.

The anticipated pain never came. Xu Jue’s arm was cushioned between his back and the wall. With his hand resting on the other’s waist, Chen Qian didn’t know whether to move or stay still. After a moment, he laughed and asked, “Are you stupid or what?”

“You came here on purpose to watch me make a fool of myself, didn’t you.” Once certain his feet were on solid ground, Xu Jue slowly withdrew his hand.

Chen Qian dusted off his hands. “Don’t accuse me. Who looks more like a fool right now?”

After putting some distance between them, Xu Jue noticed that Chen Qian’s right fuzzy slipper had fallen off. He laughed, bent down to retrieve it, and squatted before Chen Qian.

“What are you doing.” Chen Qian asked this question for the second time.

Xu Jue said nothing. He rubbed the dust off his left hand against his pant leg, then turned his palm upward to cradle Chen Qian’s ankle.

Chen Qian’s eyes widened. A tingling itch shot through the sole of his foot. He curled his toes, staring in astonishment as Xu Jue used his sleeve to gently wipe away the dirt from the bottom of his foot.

Having worked in nightclubs for so many years, during his naive early days, Chen Qian had been pinched on the butt, had his inner thigh teased with shoe tips, and lost count of how many times malicious patrons had splashed alcohol down his collar. His chest, soaked with liquor, had borne the weight of countless lecherous gazes.

In all those situations, Chen Qian could maintain his composure. But this time, in the dim and silent stairwell with dust particles floating in the air, being held by the foot in such an innocent gesture he found his heart rate thrown off kilter as he looked at the top of Xu Jue’s head.

The right foot was slipped back into the fuzzy slipper. Chen Qian stood steady, and when Xu Jue rose, he used the back of his hand to wipe the dirt from the other’s temple, forcing himself to stay calm as he said, “Go wash your face when we get back.”

Carrying the package home, Chen Qian went straight through the living room and into his bedroom. Xu Jue, feeling hot, took off his school uniform jacket and casually tossed it onto the coat rack. He kicked off his slippers and went to the bathroom to wash his face.

While washing his face, his mind wandered to other matters, and he didn’t notice he’d turned the water on too high, splashing his clothes. Xu Jue sighed, stripped naked, and stood under the showerhead to rinse off, washing away the thin layer of sweat on his back too.

Lathering up with body wash, Xu Jue’s drifting thoughts inevitably pulled back to the scene from earlier. So Chen Qian had a small mole on the top of his right foot too, faint, hidden between two foot bones.

The morning salute that hadn’t risen upon waking was now arriving fashionably late for no reason. Xu Jue’s mind went blank. After weakly lowering the flag, he realized he’d been doing this a bit too much lately. Next month, he’d better offer to pay the water bill himself.

After breakfast, Chen Qian was still holed up in his bedroom, with constant clattering sounds coming from inside. Xu Jue grew concerned, set down his glass, and went to check.

The bedroom door was open a crack. Xu Jue pushed it carefully but it wouldn’t budge; something seemed to be blocking it from behind.

He peeked in, and the first thing he saw was a large suitcase laid flat on the floor. One side was already packed with winter clothes, with several lace thongs tossed on top, including the black thong he’d hidden for a week.

Chen Qian was sorting through the bottles and jars on his dressing table. No wonder it had been clattering—he was comparing and selecting items.

Given the situation, it looked like he was preparing for a long trip. Xu Jue couldn’t hold back: “Is it really that bad? I just held your foot and you’re running away from home?”

Chen Qian looked up at him, got up to move the suitcase, and opened the door to let him in. “Running away from home… Who do you think I am? I’m going on vacation. I’ll be back next Saturday.”

Xu Jue was stunned. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning’s flight,” Chen Qian said. “You keep an eye on the house.”

This was too sudden. Xu Jue asked, “Where to?”

Chen Qian said, “Paris.”

Xu Jue hadn’t processed this yet. “A team-building trip organized by Elk? The benefits are that good?”

“Who said I’m going with that lot,” Chen Qian said, finishing with his skincare products and pulling out condoms from the bedside drawer. “I’m going with my partner.”

The colorful boxes plopped into the suitcase like a blooming flower, and Xu Jue exploded too. “That guy surnamed Jiang?”

Chen Qian’s head snapped up. “You know?”

Xu Jue sulked, “You said it when you were drunk last night.”

It took Chen Qian only a few seconds to go from surprise to a light laugh. “I thought you couldn’t accept it, so I never told you.”

Xu Jue’s heart lurched, an inexplicable sense that his feelings had been seen through. “What couldn’t I accept?”

“That I’m gay,” Chen Qian said, sitting at the foot of the bed to rest from packing. “Or rather, I work in that industry, so you probably picked up on the signs. So it should have been a gradual acceptance.”

The heart that had been lifted slightly settled back down, only to start sinking heavily. Xu Jue stood planted in the doorway as if blocking the way, so Chen Qian couldn’t leave the bedroom. “You can’t go.”

Chen Qian looked at him like he was watching a child throw a tantrum. “I’ve bought my ticket, gotten my visa, and almost finished packing. How can I not go?”

He paused, then said with sudden realization, “Oh, are you worried no one will walk the third floor with you after I leave? It’s fine, didn’t you just change the lightbulbs?”

Chen Qian looked completely relaxed, both hands propped behind him, legs crossed and swinging at the edge of the bed, his feet pointing toward the still-open suitcase.

Xu Jue’s gaze fell on the suitcase. On one side were underwear that barely covered anything, which he’d seen last night. On the other side were condoms of various textures—he didn’t know what sizes, but they made him recall what that fishnet-stocking-wearing piece of ocean trash had said: “What does that guy surnamed Jiang take you for?”

Chen Qian’s swinging legs stilled. He looked at Xu Jue’s somewhat darkened eyes in confusion.

They stared at each other for a good while. Chen Qian pressed his foot to the floor, walked barefoot across the rug to the bedside table, and opened the package. “Don’t get the wrong idea. He’s my proper boyfriend, not like those sleazy people at Elk.”

Xu Jue didn’t care how Chen Qian had properly gotten together with this bastard. He only hesitated over how to explain Jiang Linsheng’s sleaziness to Chen Qian while minimizing the emotional impact.

After a long silence, Xu Jue spoke: “What are you planning to do in Paris?”

“Walk around,” Chen Qian said, taking out delicate materials for making scented candles from the package. “I’ve run out of perfume, and he’s accompanying me to buy a new bottle.”

A strong spicy scent spread through the air. Chen Qian used a dropper to extract a few milliliters of perfume and dripped it into the scented candle bottle, wrinkling his nose from the irritation. He curled his hand into a fist and held it below his nostrils for a moment.

Xu Jue said, “This perfume doesn’t suit you.”

Chen Qian of course knew it didn’t suit him, otherwise he wouldn’t have never used it. But hearing the assessment from Xu Jue’s mouth, he only found it curious, his attention briefly shifting from his task: “Then what kind of scent do you think suits me?”

Xu Jue didn’t hesitate: “A non-aggressive light fragrance, the kind you can only smell when you bury your face in the hollow of your shoulder, like your previous…”

He cut himself off.

Chen Qian teased, “You buried your face in my shoulder while I was drunk?”

In truth, he’d done far more than that, but Xu Jue certainly wouldn’t sell himself out. “It was a metaphor.”

“Fine then,” Chen Qian’s tone rose, even a single particle word sounding cheerful, “Then I’ll pick out a non-aggressive light fragrance in Paris.”

That lighthearted tone almost let Xu Jue imagine the scene of Chen Qian testing fragrances would he tilt his head back to expose his vulnerable throat, then spray it on his collarbone?

Would he let his guard down and allow that guy surnamed Jiang to bury his face in the hollow of his shoulder and nuzzle, leaving a dark hickey?

And then? Would he gently unfold his body to give the other a chance to smell the fragrance?

Because it was non-aggressive, so he let others be aggressive toward him?

It was nothing but an unfounded imagination, yet it made Xu Jue so furious he wanted to kick over the suitcase at his feet. “Besides buying perfume? You’re going for so many days, won’t you do anything else?”

“Of course, there are plenty of art museums in Paris, I want to visit them all.” Chen Qian said. The perfume was too irritating, and to avoid the whole room taking on the smell, he hurriedly closed the lid.

Xu Jue took a step forward, the toe of his shoe touching a corner of the suitcase. “Nothing else then.”

“Jiang Linsheng’s assistant will plan out a week-long itinerary for us—” Chen Qian asked, “What are you doing?”

Xu Jue squatted down, gathered up the finely-made string thongs from the suitcase one by one and threw them onto the bed, then threw the unopened condoms after them. “Since you’re not doing anything else, don’t bring these.”

However tolerant Chen Qian was, he couldn’t let Xu Jue handle his personal items like this. “Xu Jue, we’re both adults. Do I need to report to you every time I have sex?”

The hand still carrying the spicy scent reached for his wrist to stop him, but Xu Jue seemed to have anticipated this. Before the other could grip tight, he reversed his hold, straightened up, and yanked Chen Qian hard onto the bed, using his size advantage to pin him down. “You don’t know what he’ll plan. What the hell are you running so far away with him for?”

Chen Qian’s head hit the bedding, a little dizzy. “Watch your mouth. It’s sex, not ‘what the hell’—that’s the kind of talk Elk people use!”

“I was cursing, not using it as a euphemism!” Xu Jue was furious. “Besides, what does that bastard take you for? Can’t you open your damn eyes and see clearly?!”

Chen Qian’s legs thrashed about, sweeping the underwear and condoms off the foot of the bed onto the floor, but he couldn’t throw Xu Jue off. “If you have something to say, say it clearly. Don’t fucking pin me down!”

“I’m laying down the second rule right now: you’re not allowed to go to Paris with him!”

“Have you lost your mind,” Chen Qian’s head hurt, his wrists hurt. He looked up at Xu Jue’s angry face above him. “Do you know how much you look like, like…”

He wanted to say Xu Jue looked like those people at Elk who had forced themselves on him, but when he met Xu Jue’s pained and dejected eyes, he couldn’t get those words out. What filled his mind instead was all of Xu Jue’s kindness.

It was Xu Jue who took a detour to buy him ointment, who remembered his food allergies, who carried him home step by step when he was drunk, who used his sleeve to wipe the dirt from the bottom of his foot.

Chen Qian’s eyes burned with tears. He wanted to raise his hand to comfort the out-of-control puppy, but was held fast by the other.

“That bottle of perfume was a gift from that guy surnamed Jiang, wasn’t it?” Xu Jue pressed down harder. Let Chen Qian break down then, he’d just put him back together piece by piece. “People don’t keep items they don’t like, unless they’re from someone especially important. But do you know who Jiang Linsheng originally meant to give it to?”

He stared into Chen Qian’s unfocused eyes, slowing his speech: “Do you know that while you make excuses for him with the word ‘busy’ every day, that pole-dancing duck is sending him nudes from the break room? Do you know that while you’re resting at home, he’s driving that duck around in the passenger seat for fun? Do you know that after getting out of the car, they not only hold hands but also kiss foreheads?”

The air grew still. The angry words crashed against Chen Qian’s eardrums, making his whole head buzz.

Xu Jue slowly loosened his grip, his fingertips brushing the corner of the eye of the person beneath him.

“Chen Qian, intense and flamboyant isn’t you. Throw away that perfume. I’ll buy you a new bottle.”

 

 

Translation Notes:

“晨起时没升的旗这会儿无缘无故迟到了” : “The morning salute that hadn’t risen upon waking was now arriving fashionably late”**: A euphemism for male morning erection. The original uses “raising/lowering the flag” as a metaphor; I kept the metaphorical language but made it slightly more accessible.