He Only Shows His True Colors in Front of Me : Chapter 68

The two of them kissed lingeringly, continually urging each other to go deeper. They were like travelers walking through a desert for a long time, unwilling to miss out even if the ahead view was just a mirage.

“Ha… ha mm…!” Gu Yuanqiao closed his eyes, wrapping his legs around Sheng Yannian’s waist, holding tightly onto the other person and refusing to let go.

“Wait a minute…” Sensing that both of them were getting aroused, Sheng Yannian wanted to pull away. After all, sneaking into bed tonight wasn’t for making love; he just wanted to comfort and stay with Gu Yuanqiao. Yet the moment he tried to move away even a little, the person in his arms pressed closer with even more force.

“Wait for what…?” Gu Yuanqiao bit Sheng Yannian’s lower lip, somewhat annoyed by his distraction at this moment.

By the faint light, the corners of Gu Yuanqiao’s eyes were flushed red, extending down to his cheeks and ears. This deeply moved expression made the refusal stuck in Sheng Yannian’s throat, and he ultimately swallowed it back down past his moving Adam’s apple.

“Wait for what? Hmm?” Receiving no answer, Gu Yuanqiao asked again, his voice soft and his ending tone lifting like a feather brushing against Sheng Yannian’s heart, leaving him itching all over.

“Gu Yuanqiao… you need to rest…” Sheng Yannian said with a husky voice, holding onto his last shred of rationality.

“….” Gu Yuanqiao’s movements paused for a second before he quickly lifted his head to look at Sheng Yannian. “But I want you…”

In an instant, Sheng Yannian’s eyes widened. He wanted to find a hint of teasing or playfulness in Gu Yuanqiao’s eyes, but that calm, waveless gaze held only a thin layer of sorrow and a microscopic plea. Sheng Yannian was all too familiar with this look; there had been a time when he had looked at Gu Yuanqiao with this exact expression.

“What…?” Sheng Yannian thought he was hearing things, his hand gripping Gu Yuanqiao’s waist tightening involuntarily. “Say that again…”

His voice was trembling and incredulous. Gu Yuanqiao paused, and when he spoke again, his words carried a bit more firmness than before.

“Sheng Yannian, I want you… mm!”

Just as the words fell, before he could even register Sheng Yannian’s expression, he was pulled into a hurried kiss.

It was even more forceful than the first one, almost frantic.

Sheng Yannian pinned Gu Yuanqiao down, unceremoniously pushing his tongue deep into the other’s mouth, showing no mercy and heading straight for the deepest part.

The heart in his chest hammered loudly, clearly audible in the quiet darkness.

One of his hands could no longer hold back; it slipped beneath the hem of the shirt and forcefully grabbed Gu Yuanqiao’s waist.

Gu Yuanqiao wanted him… Gu Yuanqiao wanted him…. Gu Yuanqiao felt the same way he did…. Gu Yuanqiao…!

The moment he realized that Gu Yuanqiao harbored the exact same feelings for him, he could no longer hold back whatever patience he had left. To hell with silent companionship, to hell with tender care.

He wanted Gu Yuanqiao, and he wanted him now. Body and soul, he wanted Gu Yuanqiao to belong only to him, to Sheng Yannian and no one else.

His desire for possession was like a beast let out of its cage, unstoppably tearing everything apart, refusing to stop until it had bitten its target into a bloody mess.

“Ah!”

Sheng Yannian bit down hard on Gu Yuanqiao’s shoulder, the pain forcing out a gasp.

“Gu Yuanqiao…” Sheng Yannian’s voice sounded somewhat gritted, his eyes locked onto Gu Yuanqiao. “Tonight, no matter what you say, I’m not stopping…”

“…Fine, don’t stop…” Gu Yuanqiao closed his eyes, resigning himself to his fate.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes.” Sheng Yannian lowered his head and nibbled on Gu Yuanqiao’s earlobe. “Look at me… don’t look away…”

Gu Yuanqiao shivered and finally opened his eyes. In the darkness, Sheng Yannian’s face was somewhat blurry, but his eyes burned like glowing hot iron, bright enough to make one lose their mind.

Fire burned in both of their hearts, urging them to merge together and reach the ultimate fulfillment of life.

Sheng Yannian got up to grab the lubricant from the nightstand, while Gu Yuanqiao naturally slipped off his pants and opened his legs, waiting for him.

Seeing this, Sheng Yannian didn’t say much. He just squeezed out half a bottle of lube and poured it directly onto Gu Yuanqiao’s semi-erect sex organ. The viscous liquid slid down the contours of his body, some dripping onto the sheets while the rest continued downward.

“Mm…” The chilling sensation drew a muffled groan from Gu Yuanqiao. He could sense that Sheng Yannian had become much more aggressive than usual. Even though Sheng Yannian was trying hard to suppress it right now, he could only imagine how terrifying the man would be once he went completely wild.

“Gu Yuanqiao…” Sheng Yannian leaned over, using one hand to touch Gu Yuanqiao’s sex organ while pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I might be a bit rough today… if it hurts, make sure to tell me…”

“Mm…!” Sheng Yannian’s calloused hand, coated in slick lubricant, stroked up and down his shaft. The strange sensation instantly brought him pleasure, yet that thumb kept relentlessly rubbing against the very tip.

“I kn— I know, ha ah…! Mm…” Gu Yuanqiao turned his head away, burying half his face into the pillow. This movement seemed to provoke Sheng Yannian further, and the hand gripping his shaft tightened with a bit more force.

“Ah…!”

“Turn your face back and look at me…”

“….” Gu Yuanqiao had no choice but to obey. Meeting those deep, desire-filled eyes made him feel a shame even greater than being completely naked. Under the gaze of those intense eyes, he felt entirely exposed with nowhere to hide.

“Ha…” The shame traveled from his brain all the way down his spine, turning his waist weak and boneless. At that moment, that same hand slipped down past his perineum, finding the entrance.

“Mm… ha….” Fingers circled the soft opening, tentatively pressing a fingertip inside; the moment it entered, the inner flesh eagerly welcomed it in.

Without lingering, Sheng Yannian lowered his head to take Gu Yuanqiao’s nipple into his mouth. Sensing the person beneath him relax for a split second, his fingers drove straight inside, pressing precisely against the raised sensitive spot.

“Ah ha! Ha…” Before Gu Yuanqiao could process the sudden pain of entry, a familiar wave of pleasure blossomed outward from that internal spot.

True to his warning, Sheng Yannian showed no mercy, his fingers pressing firmly against the inner walls while his mouth stayed busy sucking on the sensitive nub.

“Ha…! Mm—! Slow down, ha…. Ha….” Gu Yuanqiao instinctively tried to close his legs, but Sheng Yannian forcefully wedged his knees apart, and after a round of tossing, his legs ended up wider open than at the start.

“Ha ah…!” Gu Yuanqiao’s hands grabbed onto the head above him, loosening and tightening with Sheng Yannian’s rhythm.

Sheng Yannian was terrifyingly quiet; for a moment, the bedroom was filled only with the sound of slick wetness and muffled moans. The moment the first finger could move smoothly in and out, he impatiently pushed a second one inside. The tight, stretching ache caused Gu Yuanqiao’s entire body to tense up.

Sheng Yannian didn’t ignore him completely, releasing the first nipple to take the other one into his mouth, his tongue tracing circles around the areola until the tip grew hard and erect, then gently sweeping across the peak.

The tingling sensation rippling across his chest made Gu Yuanqiao arch his back, causing his lower body to contract and writhe in response. Seeing this, Sheng Yannian synchronized the movement of his fingers with his tongue.

“Mm… ha… Yan, Yannian, mm….” Gu Yuanqiao couldn’t help but call out his name.

Sheng Yannian paused for a fraction of a second, gently sucking on the nipple before pushing his fingers another inch deeper, replying in a low voice, “Mm… I’m here…”

“Just a little longer… almost done…”

“Ha ah! Urgh….!” As gentle as Sheng Yannian’s words sounded, his fingers plunged straight to the base.

“It’s okay… it’s fine now…” Sheng Yannian kissed the trembling skin beneath him, his fingers slowly stretching out the narrow passage.

“Ah….! Ha…..” Gu Yuanqiao kept trembling, not from pleasure, but from the pain. It hurt so much that tears threatened to spill over. He kept breathing lightly, trying to adjust to the sensation, but the fingers inside him felt overwhelmingly obvious. The half-bottle of lube he had poured earlier felt completely useless; the inside still felt raw and dry. Every time Sheng Yannian moved, he felt a burning sting.

“Mm—! Ha… ha ah….” He bit down hard on his lower lip, refusing to let out a sound of agony.

“…..” Having been through this many times before, how could Sheng Yannian possibly miss that something was wrong with Gu Yuanqiao. He fell silent for a moment, thinking he should probably pull back. But the moment his fingers retreated, the passage instantly clamped down, twisting around him to keep him from leaving.

“Don’t… keep going….” Gu Yuanqiao reached down and grabbed Sheng Yannian’s wrist, his voice trembling and frail.

“‐..You’ll get hurt like this…” Sheng Yannian said softly after a pause, knowing that moving forward or backward would only hurt Gu Yuanqiao right now. “Should I pour a bit more lubricant?”

Yet Gu Yuanqiao was more stubborn than he thought, still refusing to back down. “Keep going, mm…”

“….”

Helpless, Sheng Yannian let out a soft sigh; he truly had no way of dealing with Gu Yuanqiao.

“Fine, then relax a bit.”

Seeing that he wasn’t going to pull out, Gu Yuanqiao slowly forced himself to relax, and thus he felt the fingers press forward once more.

“Mm….! Ha…. Ha ah….!” Gu Yuanqiao furrowed his brows tightly, his breathing growing heavier and heavier like a dying fish. Fine beads of sweat covered his forehead, and his neck and forearms strained with bulging veins from the exertion.

Hearing this made Sheng Yannian feel miserable. He didn’t understand why Gu Yuanqiao had to torture himself like this when there were clearly more comfortable ways to go about it. Yet he had never been able to sway Gu Yuanqiao’s decisions, not even in bed.

“En— enough, ha… come in…” After who knows how long, feeling that the pain beneath had subsided somewhat, Gu Yuanqiao spoke to Sheng Yannian. Of course, he couldn’t tell whether this was because he was actually feeling pleasure or simply getting used to the pain.

“….Alright.” Hearing this, Sheng Yannian slowly withdrew his fingers. With one hand, he pried open Gu Yuanqiao’s knees, while his other hand poured the remaining half-bottle of lubricant onto his own shaft, spreading it evenly.

He kept his head down, refusing to look into Gu Yuanqiao’s dazed, pain-filled eyes. Holding his erect sex organ, he aligned the tip with Gu Yuanqiao’s entrance.

“Ha… ha…..” Gu Yuanqiao looked down at where they connected, his body still shaking. He knew very well that his body wasn’t ready at all; otherwise, his sex organ wouldn’t be stuck in that half-soft, half-hard state. But he couldn’t wait any longer… He wanted Sheng Yannian, even if it hurt him to death…

Right as Gu Yuanqiao watched Sheng Yannian’s rigid shaft prepare to press inside, he missed the sudden flash of fierce intensity in Sheng Yannian’s upward-looking eyes.

It’s going to hurt to death…. Gu Yuanqiao thought about Sheng Yannian’s upcoming entry, the slow process of being filled to the brim. It felt like a protracted form of torture.

Yet things often went contrary to expectations. Everything happened so fast, so fast that a single piercing scream tore through the space between them.

“Ah————!….!…..!……!”

It hurts so much! It hurts so much! It hurts so damn much, urgh ah!

The moment he was pierced through, nothing else remained in Gu Yuanqiao’s mind.

Sheng Yannian didn’t make a sound. Taking advantage of Gu Yuanqiao’s brief moment of distraction, he thrust forward forcefully and ruthlessly, driving straight to the deepest part. Before the soft inner flesh even had time to react or resist, it was split wide open.

“Urgh….” Following that, the tight constriction that felt like it would wring him in half drew a muffled groan from Sheng Yannian, and a sheen of cold sweat instantly popped up on his forehead.

Gu Yuanqiao fared even worse. His entire body jerked straight up off the bed, one hand bracing behind him while the other clamped down hard on Sheng Yannian’s upper arm, his nails sinking into the flesh.

“…..!…..!” He couldn’t even breathe. Down below felt as though it had been stabbed open by a knife, hurting so terribly that he could neither speak nor think of anything else.

Looking at Gu Yuanqiao’s wide, panicked, pain-stricken eyes and his pale face, Sheng Yannian felt a momentary pang of guilt. Carefully, he raised a hand to stroke Gu Yuanqiao’s sweat-drenched, arched spine, patting and soothing him stroke by stroke. At the same time, he leaned down to kiss Gu Yuanqiao’s forehead.

“Breathe, Gu Yuanqiao… breathe… it’s okay… it’s all the way in… hmm?”

“Cough ah….! Ha….! Ha….” Even the slightest movement from Sheng Yannian pulled at what was buried deep inside him, let alone the way the man leaned in closer to kiss him. Yet that soothing gesture helped Gu Yuanqiao claw back a shred of the sanity scattered by the pain, and he began to breathe through it, ragged and agonizing.

Seeing Gu Yuanqiao close his eyes because he couldn’t bear it anymore, a tear immediately rolled down his cheek.

“….” Sheng Yannian leaned in to capture the tear with his lips. “Stop crying…”

“Cough mm… ha…” Gu Yuanqiao turned his face away, eyes still closed as tears continued to stream down. Perhaps the feeling of oxygen deprivation outweighed the pain below, because Gu Yuanqiao began to move, though only his upper body. He wrapped both arms around Sheng Yannian’s neck, resting his forehead against the other’s shoulder.

“It hurts so much… ha….”

“….Mm, I know…” Sheng Yannian continued to stroke Gu Yuanqiao’s spine, speaking in a soft voice as if he weren’t the root cause of the torment.

“How can it hurt this much….” Gu Yuanqiao’s tears dropped one by one onto Sheng Yannian’s skin. His bewildered words sounded like a question directed at Sheng Yannian, and yet also like talking to himself.

“Yeah… how can it hurt this much….” Sheng Yannian murmured as he slowly pulled back a fraction before thrusting back in. The passage felt so unyielding he felt like a layer of skin was being shaved off below. Yet perhaps he could finally understand a little why Gu Yuanqiao had preferred to endure the pain rather than let him pull away earlier.

If only pain could make one remember every word, then let it leave an indelible mark upon the most vulnerable place.

No matter what happened afterward, he figured there would never be a time that hurt worse than this. He hammered into the deepest recesses of the other man, over and over, feeling both the unyielding rigidity and the softness within.

Gu Yuanqiao’s trembling spine and scalding tears served as constant reminders of just how much pain he was enduring.

Those were pains inflicted by him, and yet cherished by him all the same.

Yet he felt no guilt, because Gu Yuanqiao was gripping onto him tightly, choosing to endure the agony rather than let him go.

“Gu Yuanqiao…” Sheng Yannian sighed against Gu Yuanqiao’s ear. Why did caring about someone have to hurt this much…

“Mm….! Ha…..” Gu Yuanqiao seemed to catch the unspoken question hidden in that sigh, which melted into the night. He tightened his grip on Sheng Yannian’s back, leaving yet another streak of fresh crimson scratches.

Sheng Yannian thrusted with a steady rhythm—slow, but forceful. Gu Yuanqiao vividly felt every part of Sheng Yannian: the breathing by his ear, the pounding of his chest, and their entwined depths down below.

“Ah… ha… ha ah…” Hanging onto Sheng Yannian’s body, Gu Yuanqiao felt his head swim from the pain. “Urgh… ha… ha…..”

The two of them were like two completely unrelated entities being forcibly smashed together, relying on the most primitive desire without any strategy, stubbornly pushing forward and merging. In the end, boundaries began to blur; the fusion came hand in hand with pain, and neither individual remained themselves, turning instead into monsters laced with each other’s flesh and blood.

Monsters that consumed one another.

“Mm ah! Ha….” Gu Yuanqiao couldn’t hold back and bit down onto Sheng Yannian’s shoulder, using enough force to draw blood.

Gu Yuanqiao knew that the part of him that had been taken away would remain with Sheng Yannian forever, accompanying that person for the rest of his life. There would always be an invisible thread binding him to Sheng Yannian—a thread that defied time and space, meaning whenever he wanted, he could always find Sheng Yannian through it.

On a familiar street corner, in an unfamiliar city; in memory, in tomorrow.

He was no longer a complete version of himself, but the terrifying thing was that he willingly embraced it.

Sheng Yannian paused for a split second after being bitten, then carefully laid Gu Yuanqiao down on the bed, hovering over him. Stroking Gu Yuanqiao’s face, he pulled back slightly, and this time, Gu Yuanqiao offered no “detention.”

Sheng Yannian knew that Gu Yuanqiao had confirmed something. He didn’t know what Gu Yuanqiao’s answer was, and he was tactful enough not to ask.

“Does it hurt?” He withdrew from Gu Yuanqiao’s body, and at the exact moment of separation, both of them let out a simultaneous breath.

What had just transpired could hardly be called making love; it was merely a brutal, urgent confirmation of each other’s existence. Once that confirmation was secured, they stopped pushing forward.

“Mm-hm… I’m fine…” Gu Yuanqiao rasped out.

Sheng Yannian inched forward again, pressing their sex organs flush against one another. His scalding, rigid length made Gu Yuanqiao shudder once more.

“Now, let’s take it slow… alright?” Sheng Yannian captured Gu Yuanqiao’s earlobe between his teeth while his large hand wrapped around both of their lengths, slowly stroking them together.

“Mm…” Gu Yuanqiao nodded, exhaling a breath as one of his hands reached downward as well, wanting to grip alongside Sheng Yannian.

“Let me handle it.” Sheng Yannian thrust his hips forward in a friction-filled slide, his thumb deliberately tending to the tip of Gu Yuanqiao’s organ.

“Ha… mm-hm…” With his sensitive tip continually stroked by the pad of a thumb, beads of fluid began to secrete. Seeing this, Sheng Yannian applied light pressure and pats. “Ah…”

“Hmm? Not touching your nipples?” Sheng Yannian asked intentionally upon noticing Gu Yuanqiao remaining still.

“I kn— I know, mm…” Gu Yuanqiao lifted a hand, both of his palms starting to circle his areolae. The tingling sensation on both sides made him instinctively arch his waist. “Ha…”

Against the backdrop of flushed red skin, his slender palms looked even fairer. Watching Gu Yuanqiao’s gradually reddening cheeks and hazy eyes, Sheng Yannian unconsciously increased the pressure in his hand.

“Ha…. Mm…!” In response, Gu Yuanqiao’s fingers finally began to tease his erect nipples, the mild pleasure making him instinctively crave more.

And so the fingers that had merely been caressing the nipples gently now began to pinch with a bit of force, using two pads to sandwich the base and gently twist and pull. That sensation made Gu Yuanqiao tilt his head back.

“Ah ha!” Sheng Yannian’s hand delivered another forceful stroke up and down, the two hard shafts grinding against each other within the crowded palm.

“Does it feel good?” Sheng Yannian pressed a kiss to Gu Yuanqiao’s neck.

“Mm.. it feels good, ha….” The hand pinching the nipple gave another firm squeeze before beginning to knead and massage again, tracing circles around the areola.

“Does the bottom feel better, or the top?” Unable to resist Gu Yuanqiao’s self-soothing appearance—so willingly depraved and heart-itchingly alluring—Sheng Yannian asked.

“Both, ha… both feel good, mm-hm…” Gu Yuanqiao answered honestly with his eyes narrowed.

Sheng Yannian let out a low chuckle and suddenly commanded, “Now, let go. No touching.”

“Mm…” But Gu Yuanqiao was feeling too good to obediently follow orders; not only did he refuse to let go, but he escalated by flicking them.

“….” Sheng Yannian’s throat tightened, and the fire in his lower abdomen burned even hotter. The delicate, swollen tips wobbled lightly with the movement, looking all the more vibrant and appetizing.

“Let go…” When he spoke again, Sheng Yannian’s voice had grown much huskier. “If you don’t let go, I’m stopping.” With that, he genuinely halted the movement of his hand.

With no other choice, Gu Yuanqiao let out a dissatisfied whine and finally released his grip on the tips.