15. SWEETHEART

“Why are you still here? Why did you come back?!”

Marwin was standing in the kitchen. He shouted at Pheem and pushed his chest hard, making the tall man stagger. Seeing that Marwin’s mood was about to explode, Pheem answered with a harsh voice as well.

“I came back for you. I thought you wanted to see me.” “You’re hallucinating. No one wants to see you.”
Both were holding papers in their hands while rehearsing lines to prepare for the upcoming audition. It was an important day for Marwin. To get the role, he had asked for Pheem’s collaboration to practice the lines.

Although it seemed that this decision was not bringing good results, because Pheem spoke in a monotone, harsher… than a rock.

“Really?” Even in a short sentence, it didn’t sound natural. However, Marwin acted with intensity, not caring about anyone.

“My parents are sleeping upstairs. They thought you had already left.”

“I came back to surprise you.” The thick hand turned the page, while the other tried to contain his emotions so as not to go off-script.

In the end, he didn’t succeed. With Pheem’s arrogant attitude, combined with having to act as a partner, the rehearsal completely fell apart. It wasn’t rigid, but they laughed. So they abandoned the intention.

“Damn it, I can’t! The script is shit. Are you really going to debut with this role?” Pheem cursed with frustration.

“Don’t encourage me if you don’t want to compete. Come on, again. I want to try it again.” “No. I’m going to look for work.”
“And me? Do I have to rehearse alone? The audition is in a few days.” Marwin looked suspiciously, knelt on the floor with discouragement. Seeing that, the tall man felt compassion and gave in a little.

“Alright, when I have time I’ll come help you rehearse. Shall we eat?” “Yes.”
Marwin agreed, before remembering something. “And between you and him?”
He was referring to Jira.

“I don’t know. Over time, I no longer hate him as much as before. The reason is probably true, as he said. If he quits, he doesn’t know if he’ll survive. Look, I have to look for work, but he’s worse because he has no backup plan.”

He remembered that when he lay in bed, with his arm over his forehead thinking all night, Pheem realized he had been too selfish. Although he didn’t like Ko’s face, he hated his behavior, but that didn’t mean he could use personal reasons to force others to think like him.

If there was a chance, sooner or later, he would tell Jira what he had just thought, and ask for an opportunity to continue the relationship.

“If you think that way, that’s fine. I hope you really end up together.” Marwin smiled shyly. “Why do you make that face?”
“It’s that the person you like is very artistic. Sometimes the temperament of artists is unpredictable. Prepare yourself a little.”

“Damn it! Why are you competing with me?”

“I’m not competing. I just want you to be in reality.”

Pheem listened in silence. From being in a good mood, now he began to worry.

…

Numerous street food stalls were lined up for people to choose. Jira took the tall man, who wore sunglasses, to Pat’s market, near his dormitory. The long steps stopped because he feared the crowd moving back and forth. The more he advanced, the more people he encountered.

“Which restaurant are you going to take me to eat?”

“I don’t know. Let’s walk and see. If we find one that looks good, we go in. Help me choose.” Jira walked lightly while Ko kept looking around, feeling insecure for some reason.
“There are too many people, I can’t think of anything. Let’s try that restaurant over there, seems like there are fewer people.”

Having said that, the young man prepared to head to a restaurant that was fairly empty. But the smaller one was faster, grabbed the thick wrist to stop him.

“If there are few people, it means it’s not good. It has to be one with a lot of people. Come this way.”

Jira took Ko’s hand and led him directly to a restaurant full of people. With a clear and excited voice, he said, “This one looks good. How about it?”

“I don’t think I can handle this.” He wasn’t referring to the food, but the number of people.

Jira didn’t know how to solve the problem, so he took an inhaler from his pocket and offered it to him. Without waiting for the other to prepare mentally, he went in first. Ko’s sharp eyes followed the slender back into the restaurant. He inhaled once, gritted his teeth, and followed.

The tall man with sunglasses sat with an expressionless face on a plastic chair. While waiting for the waiter to repeat the menu, he still didn’t feel comfortable, to the point of thinking his soul had left his body.

“We’ll have yampak krachod, mixed yam with lotus stem and salted egg, fried chicken wings, and sticky rice. Also two waters.”

Jira offered to order the food, fearing that if he let Ko do it, they would eat when the restaurant was closed.

“The yam with fermented fish sauce?” Upon hearing the waiter’s question, the slender body turned toward the man in front of him.

“You eat fermented fish sauce?” “I’ve never tried the yam.”
“Oh, God!” exclaimed Jira in a tone of defeat. “Fermented fish sauce, please.” “Alright, then let’s try. Yes, with fermented fish sauce, please. Will I survive this meal?”
Jira looked away from the conversation with the waiter and looked at Ko, who kept murmuring complaints under his breath, offering him confidence.

“You’ll survive. Stay with me and you’ll feel calmer.”

“Does my face look calm?” The smaller one laughed before trying to take the sunglasses off the young man. However, he didn’t succeed because a thick hand stopped him before.

“What are you doing?”

“I want you to practice a little. I think it could help you calm your nerves,” not only said Jira, but also explained in more detail.

“Now you’re like me when I went to my first audition. I was very nervous and bumped into the camera. The solution is to find the correct focus point.”

“Now I’ll teach you to focus only on me. Don’t pay attention to others. Come on… look at me.”

Jira brought his face closer. His big round eyes shone with vitality and enthusiasm. And when those same eyes looked directly at him without avoiding, all the sense of fear disappeared for a moment, replaced by an overwhelming emotion and shyness.

Seeing Ko’s immobile stillness, the slender body took the opportunity to extend his hand and remove the sunglasses from his attractive face, making the tall man automatically hold his breath.

“I told you to look at me, don’t look away. Focus only on me… imagine we are filming a movie. I am your lover, and the people around us are the film crew.”

Ko turned to look at the people in the restaurant. The bustle resonated everywhere, giving him a headache. But in an instant, Jira’s hand held his chin, forcing him to look back and connect their gazes.

“Why are you looking away?”

“Because when you talk about other things, I have to pay attention to them.” “Aren’t I interesting enough for you to look at me?”
Knockout! A single phrase knocked him out.

“Alright, now I only look at you.” Not only did he say it, but he also stared deeply at the small face. The images in his mind clearly reflected yesterday’s events. Everything was passion, palpitations. Jira, in Ko’s eyes, was so provocative that his sanity faded.

He only realized again when he heard the other speaking in a soft and calm voice, almost like a lullaby.

“Look at me and breathe slowly with me.” Jira inhaled deeply. Ko followed his example and exhaled. He did the same.

“Good, keep doing it.” Both practiced controlling their breathing a little longer. Jira’s second lesson came when the slender body gave an instruction.
“Look into my eyes and find out what I think of you.”

The young man followed the instructions as if under a spell. Both communicated their feelings through their gaze.

Ko still clearly remembered the first time he looked into Jira’s eyes before deciding to hire him. He didn’t feel anything. Exactly, he was just another human being. Someone who had no influence over him. If he did his job well, he would stay; if he did it badly, he would just be fired. That was the work system in his life until then. But Jira wasn’t like that… Maybe this man wasn’t even human. He was like a magician. He didn’t know what kind of magic he used, but he had enchanted him until he lost his mind.

Jira made him know anger, satisfaction, jealousy, the desire to please, to do good, and finally, made him want to change himself.

If asked what the feelings reflected in the other’s eyes meant, Ko wouldn’t dare to guess. But they were probably positive feelings. He didn’t care if the other perceived it or not; what mattered was that his own heart was clear.

Maybe all those feelings he had never experienced before could be called love.

…

The luxurious hotel was no different from a love nest. After returning from the restaurant, Ko asked Jira not to go back to his room and took him to his penthouse instead. Both caressed each other from the elevator, taking a long time to reach the room.

Inside the room, there were still iris flowers scattered. Some were wilted, but others were still beautiful because they had water to sustain them. Ko had not thrown them away since the day of the incident, because he regretted that on that day Jira had not had the chance to draw him with the iris flowers.

The tall man went directly to the drink station first. He poured plum liquor until it almost filled the glass and lifted it to drink, which made the observer frown.

“Are you stressed?” “Who said I’m stressed?”
“Didn’t you say you drink plum liquor to relieve stress?” “No, it just became a habit… Get drunk with me tonight.” “I think I’d better not drink.”
“Why? Don’t you usually drink liquor?”

“To tell the truth, I am quite someone who drinks liquor. I just think I shouldn’t drink when I am with you.”

Many people have strange behaviors when they are drunk. Some shout loudly, others cry dramatically. But for Jira, it was even more intense. When he got drunk, he always ended up saying what he really felt. Therefore, his university friends never had to make an effort to discover the truth. It was enough to give him a bit of liquor, and shortly after, they knew everything.

“My friends said that when I am drunk, I speak without thinking, as if my mouth had no filter.”

“Interesting,” said Ko, eyes shining with curiosity, wanting to experience that side. He quickly served plum liquor into another glass, pouring even more than in his own.

“Hey! Are you trying to get me drunk or what? No, thanks.” “You’re not in the mood, wait a moment.”

The young man turned and turned on the room’s speaker, connecting it to his mobile phone. Soon, familiar music began to play. It was the song ‘Can I Choose?’, and the melody of the first verse started to sound.

“You came to ask with so much concern, saying if I could live without you…” “What is this? Do you want to faint again or what?”
“No, I just want to make up for not having danced with you that day.”

Ko lifted his glass of plum liquor, drank it, and placed it aside before offering another glass to the smaller man. Taking advantage of the opportunity, he approached slowly, brushing his body against Jira’s. His attractive face came close to the soft cheek, and Ko’s perfectly shaped lips asked the other to intertwine hands to dance together.

“Don’t get carried away, okay?”

The thin body tried to free itself from the sticky hands, but the more he said it, the more it seemed to provoke him. Ko hugged the slim waist tighter, burying his nose in the neck and caressing it even more.

“Sorry, I was soft.”

“Drunk? You barely drank.”

“I am already irritated. Get in the mood, that helps.” “Let me go first.”
The young man finally released the other from his embrace. He took the glass of plum liquor and offered it, watching with satisfaction how the person in front of him drank the alcohol.
The music continued without stopping. Jira left the glass, from which he had barely taken a sip, on the table.

Ko grabbed his mobile phone to open the song lyrics and tried to sing, with a voice and gestures that got on the nerves, exhausting the listener to the point of wanting to escape.

“And can I choose something? Can I choose that you don’t leave? If I don’t let you go, will you follow my will or yours?”

“Are you trying to make me angry on purpose?”

“Think whatever you want. If you’re not in a good mood, keep drinking.”

Ko’s provocation worked, as the thin hand took the half-drunk glass of plum liquor and emptied it in one shot.

“Satisfied?” “Satisfied.”

…

In less than half an hour, Jira was lying on the sofa, completely exhausted. In front of him, the tall man remained fully conscious.

Ko silently observed the reddened face, the wet lips, and the glassy eyes of Jira. “What are you looking at?”
Ko was surprised. Since the other barely had a thread of consciousness, he took the chance to go straight to the point.

“I smiled at you, and I also want to know what you think of me.”

The small body jolted, scratched his cheek for a moment, and then slowly expressed what he felt.

“To be honest, from the first day we had to talk, I didn’t think you would hire me to work as an assistant or something like that. I thought you wanted to buy my services. At that time, my life was in a very dark place, at a point where everything was the same to me.”

“If I had to try with a man, I would accept it. And at that moment, you were handsome, so I assumed it.”

Jira spoke as he sat up. He extended his hand to softly touch Ko’s face before lying back down on the sofa.

“It’s just like your friend said.” “What are you saying?”
“That when you’re drunk, you say everything.” “What? Who is drunk?”
“And when we went out, when you got drunk in the bar, did you ever speak about me?”

“You’re a bit conceited, aren’t you? You think you’re so interesting that I would talk about you?”

“So did you or not?”

“I never did anything like that.”

Ko noticed Jira’s reaction and could guess that what he’d heard was probably true. “In your eyes, how do I look?”
Jira answered immediately, as if it were a direct command from his subconscious-so quickly it burst out.

“Well, an idiot. A pure idiot.”

The young man laughed hearing the blunt words spilling. He kept listening calmly.

“But later I realized that, actually, you just try to make yourself look more like an idiot than you are.”

“Then let me ask you something seriously.” “Say it!”
“If I am such an idiot, why don’t you leave?”

“Well, I have to first see if your idiocy is at a level I can accept. If not, I leave. But why do you think so much? I think you can easily find someone else to replace me.”

“I still don’t think anyone can replace you.” “How cheesy!”
“I mean it. No one could do everything like you.”

“Damn it! Let me ask something. Where does my role end? Because now I am confused as hell. I want to know what exactly you want me to be. Choose one thing.”

Jira was hired to be his representative, the “Khun K.” After that, more jobs came up: driver, helper to help him sleep, and even artist who draws portraits of him from different angles.

Now, Ko wanted only one thing.

“Since we got to this point, why don’t we become boyfriends?”

“But you said it was forbidden for people in the company to date each other. Are you going to break your own rules?”

“What idiot invented that rule? It’s ridiculous.”

Jira laughed until holding his stomach. Ko imitated his adorable gesture. He waited for an answer, but in the end, there was only silence. Finally, the person in front of him fell asleep.

…

The younger one opened his eyes in the middle of the darkness. Only the light from the outside window allowed him to see anything.

He still wore the same clothes. The clock on the nightstand showed four in the morning. Jira sat up and looked beside him, finding only emptiness. Beyond that, the bedroom door was closed, but a soft yellow light leaked through the crack.

He decided to put his feet on the floor and walk toward the light until he found Ko.

The tall, thin body, dressed only in boxers, was focused on assembling computer equipment on the messy desk. He tried to join delicate pieces. Jira approached silently. However, the other noticed the movement and turned quickly toward the sound.

“You woke up already? You only slept a few hours.” “Did I say something I’ll regret before?”
“There were many memorable things, but I won’t tell you.”

The thin body approached the desk, looking alternately at the computer equipment and the attractive face.

“And this still isn’t finished?”

Ko was assembling a board carefully, as if it were something precious, without even lifting his eyes toward Jira.

“Are you more interested in these pieces of metal than in me?”

Curious to know what it was, the smaller man extended his hand to take a thin piece from the table and examine it. But Ko stopped him.

“Careful, better don’t touch it. This is quite delicate. You could break it.” “Oh, yeah?”
Jira murmured softly and came closer to the wide back. With his playful nature, it occurred to him to have fun sliding his palm toward the lower part of the young man, the most sensitive point.

“And is this delicate?”

Ko left the plate on the table and looked up. “What do you think?”
“Well, it seems strong and resistant. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t draw it.” “Can I finish this first?”
Jira knelt down and removed Ko’s pants, causing the interrupted one to begin to get aroused.

“Fine, then I’ll help you finish first, and then you can continue with your thing.”

The suggestive phrase, spoken in a sexy voice, aroused the listener to the maximum. The young man turned the chair to face the smaller one. When the two looked deeply at each other, the feeling of passion exploded immediately.

Their lips pressed together, their arms embraced each other. Ko stood up, grabbed the slender one’s neck, and kissed him passionately. Meanwhile, he applied force to squeeze several proportions until he left red marks on almost every centimeter of skin.

But that wasn’t enough to quench the aroused one’s thirst. He released one hand from the slender waist, then swept forcefully the equipment and the documents from the table to the floor. The sound of hard objects falling echoed throughout the room. The things scattered, some equipment fell in disarray, including the newly bought plate.

To hell with all the components!

“Didn’t you say it was delicate?” Jira was surprised, looking at the things on the floor with astonishment.

“Forget it. If it breaks, I’ll order a new one.”

Saying that, he lifted the other by the waist before pressing the smaller one’s soft back against the table. He took both arms of the person underneath and raised them. Then he leaned down to kiss him, exchanging touches with eagerness.