Deep in the Act: Chapter 40

The sun visor was propped against the front windshield. The car was very dark, with just a sliver of light seeping in through the side windows and rear glass. Fang Chi sat in the passenger seat and took off his glasses. “Try to recall the details of what happened back then.”

Gao Zhun lay beside him, face up, both hands resting flat on his stomach. “You lie down too, okay?”

Fang Chi turned his head and saw his trembling lower body, the expensive belt buckle, the nicely shaped thighs, and the hidden private place between his legs. His gaze couldn’t avoid going there. It was what he had been playing with that very morning. The texture and heat still seemed to linger in his palm, the broken moans, the tongue licking his chin like a cat. All those details came flooding back at once.

“Five minutes,” he pretended like nothing was wrong. “We’ll start the simulation in five minutes.”

Five minutes. Gao Zhun couldn’t endure it, and neither could he. He was already hard, his fully engorged lower body eager to go. He considered himself a person with professional ethics, but how could he explain his current behavior? Using professional methods to trick a patient, engaging in sexual acts in a car that caused traumatic memories. This wasn’t just against professional code, it was a crime.

He was agitated. The more agitated he got, the more his lust swelled. Before five minutes were up, his hand moved on its own to Gao Zhun’s thigh. That leg trembled once, then settled down. He rubbed back and forth through the fabric of the suit pants, with great force.

“Dr. Fang?” Gao Zhun called out nervously.

Fang Chi lied to him. “Imagine me as that person.”

“But…” Gao Zhun’s voice was clearly heating up too. “He wasn’t like this.”

Fang Chi turned over, his gaze even somewhat vicious. “Then what was he like?”

His appearance frightened Gao Zhun. “He was on top of me, hitting me, pulling off my pants,” he said honestly. “Very rough.”

Fang Chi imagined the scene he described. Although he had privately imagined it countless times, in this car the feeling was more real and more piercing. Was it jealousy? Fang Chi was furious, grabbing Gao Zhun’s thigh and climbing up his body. “Tell me the details.”

Gao Zhun watched him like some fierce predator, pressing up bit by bit along his thigh. The feeling was almost like anticipation. He shyly pressed his lips together. “He pinched my thigh, used that thing to keep thrusting against me, licked my face, he said…” He had never told Fang Chi these things before. “He said having money is so great, but you’re still getting fucked like everyone else.”

Fang Chi couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand anything about that person. “What else did he say?”

“He said I…” Gao Zhun painfully swallowed, his Adam’s apple rolling. “With all this money, you’ve never had your back door pleasured. He said he’d let me have a good time.”

Fang Chi angrily undid his belt, then his zipper. Gao Zhun weakly resisted a few times before his trousers were pulled down. Fang Chi stared blankly at the space between his legs. There was only a small patch of black fabric, barely covering the important parts. “What are you wearing?”

Gao Zhun blushed and tried to cover himself. Fang Chi wouldn’t let him, touching that little patch of fabric with curiosity or perhaps deliberately. “Leather?”

Gao Zhun was deeply ashamed, grabbing Fang Chi’s hand to stop him. “PU leather… I bought it online just for fun.”

Fang Chi fiddled with his buttocks. That piece of fabric was held up by only two leather straps. He had seen similar things in America. Gay men often liked to wear this kind of attention grabbing stuff. “What’s this called?”

Gao Zhun was tongue tied. When he couldn’t cover his buttocks he covered his face. “A jockstrap…”

“Why are you wearing this kind of underwear?” Fang Chi asked even though he knew the answer.

Gao Zhun truly couldn’t speak anymore, his whole body trembling. Fang Chi pulled down the strap across his hips. The other strap seemed to be wedged between his butt cheeks. With a slight tug it snapped. Gao Zhun gasped, grabbing his hand and pleading. “Not here…”

He meant the car. Fang Chi grabbed that lump of flesh through the loose fabric. “Then tell me, why are you wearing this kind of underwear?”

Gao Zhun was backed into a corner, his eyes growing wet. “I thought… maybe you’d like it…”

Fang Chi swallowed. Did he like it? Hard to say. He just felt excited, excited to the point his scalp tingled. “How could I like this kind of thing,” he unbuttoned Gao Zhun’s shirt one by one. “I’m not a pervert.”

Pervert. This word cut a gash across Gao Zhun’s fragile nerves. He cried, constantly wiping his tears with his snow white sleeve. Fang Chi’s heart ached, but his mouth spoke roughly. “No crying.”

Gao Zhun immediately fell silent. Fang Chi spread open his shirt, rubbing his small nipples. “Keep going. How did he treat you?”

“He said I had plenty of fight in me, then put my legs on his shoulders,” Gao Zhun swallowed with difficulty, the liquid from his tear ducts flowing into his nasal cavity. “While doing it, he kept asking if it felt good. He said… he was going to die on me…”

Fang Chi felt his head swelling. He lifted Gao Zhun’s legs onto his shoulders. “Like this?”

Gao Zhun’s face couldn’t get any redder. Perhaps because it was Fang Chi on top of him, he was so stirred he didn’t know what to do. The car compartment was so cramped. He obediently spread his legs as much as possible, to make Fang Chi comfortable.

This kind of action wasn’t in the plan at all. Even like this, Fang Chi hadn’t intended to do anything. But Gao Zhun’s look of wanting to look at him yet not daring to, his hairline damp with nervous sweat, and that provocative sexy little jockstrap, all drove Fang Chi mad. He pulled open his own zipper and reached inside.

Gao Zhun seemed unable to believe it, staring unblinkingly at his crotch. Watching him pull out his erect lower body, straight and stiff like a weapon, he instinctively shrank back, but Fang Chi held him down. “Don’t run,” he coaxed him. “This is just a training session… just training…” Whether he was trying to convince Gao Zhun or himself, Fang Chi pressed his penis deep between those spread thighs.

“Fang, Dr. Fang!” Gao Zhun cried out in alarm. Too close. Although they had spent so many nights together, they had never been this close. Perhaps because of the position, Fang Chi’s thing was already pressing against his sphincter, even the vulnerable anal opening.

“Shh!” Whether from guilt or some other concern, Fang Chi was very afraid of him making noise. “Don’t be afraid, it’s fine.”

“But…” Gao Zhun was truly afraid. This car, this manner, the real sensation at his anus. He had the illusion that he would be penetrated the next second. “This won’t do!”

“I say it will!” Fang Chi thrust hard there once, thrusting so hard Gao Zhun slid backward entirely. Fang Chi quickly caught him, his forehead pressed against his forehead. “Right now I’m not a doctor, I’m that person. I’m raping you.”

Gao Zhun simply couldn’t get into the role, shaking his head while trembling. “No, that’s not… you’re Dr. Fang…”

Fang Chi thrust hard against him again. “Why won’t you listen!” This time he didn’t stop, but hugged Gao Zhun’s waist tight, simulating intercourse, rapidly rocking his hips between those unguarded thighs. “Having money is so great, but you’re still getting fucked!”

He spoke that person’s words, like a real rapist. Gao Zhun was bullied by him, wantonly, with nothing held back. Not every thrust hit the crucial spot, but when it did, both of them knew it in their hearts. Slowly, Fang Chi began deliberately aiming for Gao Zhun’s anus. That tiny hole was easily poked red and swollen.

“No, I’m going to… going to…” Gao Zhun panicked, hugging Fang Chi’s shoulders. The tender flesh at his anal opening was poked open. He begged him pitifully. “Let’s go home… let’s do it at home, okay?”

Fang Chi didn’t listen to him. In truth he couldn’t hear anything at all. His mind was filled entirely with male predatory instinct. The more aroused he got, the more bodily fluids he secreted. He was having trouble aiming, either thrusting too far forward or sliding out the back. Only when he slid out did Gao Zhun realize that when his anus was being pressed, he actually felt pleasure. Now there was an unsatisfied emptiness.

Because of the emptiness, he began to moan, the sound of unfulfilled desire. Hearing him moan like this, Fang Chi grew anxious. He propped himself up and looked down, using his hand to guide his penis, thrusting hard at Gao Zhun’s anus again and again. The feeling of being hit again was very different from before. It was like tasting something delicious and wanting more. His whole body felt comfortably numb from head to toe. Gao Zhun uncontrollably grew wanton.

“Fang… Dr. Fang!” He rocked his hips following Fang Chi’s rhythm. Whether in his eyes or his mouth, it was all the look of someone in heat. His hungry lower body pressed tight against his belly, wrapped in that little patch of black fabric, shamelessly swaying left and right.

Fang Chi grabbed him, rubbing and demanding. “When he forced you, were you like this too?”

Gao Zhun moaned in confusion, both hands randomly touching Fang Chi’s chest, his toes curling, angling himself to rub against the thing at his anal opening. He vaguely knew he wanted more.

“Tell me!” Fang Chi pinched his buttock.

Gao Zhun denied it flatly. “No… it wasn’t…”

Fang Chi stopped giving it to him. This was revenge. Revenge for that time with the rapist, revenge for his final involuntary ejaculation. He pulled out his penis and rubbed it in the fold of his left thigh where it bent. Gao Zhun sadly clenched his buttocks a few times, looking at him for help. “My bottom… feels strange…”

Fang Chi was about to come. He could feel the massive car body shaking wildly. Gao Zhun arched his waist beneath him, writhing in unbearable need. The whole world didn’t know he was doing this thing. On a lonely early autumn night, in a corner unknown to anyone, he was confused about gender, his morals degenerate. But it was precisely this sense of guilt that sent him to paradise. He cried out and came on the storage compartment between the seats.

He collapsed down onto Gao Zhun, still not satisfied, caressing the flesh between his ribs. Gao Zhun was still hard, his body trembling slightly, but he said nothing. Instead he held Fang Chi close with tender care.

On the way home, Gao Zhun was half erect the whole time, but Fang Chi pretended not to see. He thought he could endure it. “Pack your things tonight. I’ll take you back after work tomorrow.”

Gao Zhun made no sound, his face turned toward the window. Fang Chi thought he might be crying, so with one hand on the wheel, he reached out with the other to hold the hand resting by his leg. To avoid letting go, he didn’t even shift to neutral when waiting at a red light. “Be rational. Don’t let her notice.”

“You’re afraid she’ll notice?”

Fang Chi sighed. “Why make her know.”

“Then we…” Gao Zhun turned back, his eyes indeed red. “Are we over?”

Fang Chi’s left hand skillfully maneuvered the steering wheel. “When did we ever begin?” he said lightly. “Just treat it as a dream.”

“I don’t want to wake up,” Gao Zhun shook his head in collapse. “I can’t wake up!”

“Shh… shh…” Fang Chi gripped his hand tight. “Little by little. Starting next week, we’ll go back to once a week for treatment.”

Gao Zhun snapped open his seatbelt with a click, lunged over and cupped his face, desperately biting at his lips. Fang Chi wasn’t prepared. The car crossed over the double yellow lines and swerved back. A series of horn blasts sounded from the oncoming lane.

Fang Chi let go of his hand and pushed him back. “I don’t like you acting like this! One more time and treatment ends!”

Gao Zhun curled up pitifully, huddled on the not very large seat. When they got home he refused to get out of the car. Fang Chi had no choice but to carry him into the elevator. The security camera was recording. He stared nervously at that red light for a while, then simply averted his eyes.

He didn’t dare leave him alone, so they showered together too. Once Gao Zhun took off his clothes he became clingy, his body covered in a silk like watery sheen, climbing onto his shoulders and sucking at his mouth. He was still slightly erect. Fang Chi thought this was very abnormal, but in his daze he didn’t think much of it. Like in the morning, he grabbed him in one hand and started stroking. Gao Zhun spread his legs and cried out lasciviously.

Fang Chi liked teasing him. The more he teased him, the more wanton he became. The more wanton he became, the more Fang Chi didn’t want to let him get his release. He didn’t let him come, dropping the line “I’m done washing” and going out.

Gao Zhun washed for a very long time. Fang Chi busied himself packing his things inside and outside the room. His pajamas, underwear, his cup, his watch. Unexpectedly, in just a few short days, Gao Zhun had occupied so much of his space. He slumped onto the corner of the desk, and with one turn of his head there was Gao Zhun’s jewelry box. Rings and earrings of all sizes. He flicked them with his finger, his heart aching with a sour pain.

He didn’t want to let him go. Realizing this, he felt terrified. In his panic he glanced at the clock and discovered Gao Zhun had already been in the bathroom for half an hour. He went to push the door open angrily. “What kind of tantrum are you throwing, hurry up and come ou…” The door wouldn’t open. It was locked from the inside. Fang Chi panicked, his hands shaking a bit. “Gao Zhun? Gao Zhun!”

He knew this door. You couldn’t break it down by charging at it. He turned back to grab a chair, just lifting the metal chair back over his head, when the door opened. Gao Zhun walked out stark naked, glanced at him, then elegantly slipped into the quilt, comfortably rolling over, very sexily exposing his back. “What, thought I was going to kill myself?”

This was blatant mockery. Fang Chi threw down the chair, which hit the floor with a thud. He pounced onto the bed, yanking the quilt open with a swish. Gao Zhun lay there with his buttocks raised, his waist soft and supple. Fang Chi flipped him over, spread his thighs and stared at that opened slit. Gao Zhun raised his neck, trembling as he said, “Do you want to… go in?”

Fang Chi didn’t understand at first. Gao Zhun watched him with flickering sidelong glances. “I washed very thoroughly…”

“Shut up!” Fang Chi got angry. After venting his anger he felt regret. “You… aren’t you afraid?” He gently stroked the delicate skin at his waist. “It hurts. That’s your nightmare. Did you forget?”

“I can do it…” Gao Zhun obediently spread his thighs even wider, almost lasciviously. “If you go slow then…”

“No,” Fang Chi pressed his forehead into the hollow of his shoulder. “A psychologist can’t have sexual relations with a patient. What I’ve already done is enough to get my license revoked.”

Gao Zhun interrupted. “But I’m doing this willingly.”

Fang Chi lifted his chin. “You have no capacity for judgment at all. This is a crime.”

“Just once,” Gao Zhun was like a moth circling flames, losing all reason, not thinking of tomorrow, only fanning its final powder. “Let’s do it once, then die together.”

Fang Chi looked at him in horror. “You need to calm down,” he cruelly closed his legs and pulled the quilt over him. “Go back tomorrow first. We’ll talk next week.”