Between Us : Chapter 59: Can Lift You Up

The Spring Festival holiday was short. The New Year spirit hadn’t even faded yet, and Xianzhong Middle School was already back in session.

On the first day back, class representatives were running around the classroom chasing down homework submissions. Xu Jue was running around too, trying to find which shameless person had taken his homework.

Before he found it, Bai Suzhen came to the classroom. She didn’t catch anyone copying or rushing to finish homework. She grabbed him, the one who had completed everything on time.

Xu Jue thought he had behaved well and hadn’t done anything wrong. Except that morning before leaving home, he hadn’t been able to resist grabbing the black thong by his pillow and rubbing one out. But that shouldn’t be the homeroom teacher’s business either.

His reminiscing was interrupted. Bai Suzhen handed him a stamped notice and said, “The school has revoked your punishment. Your dormitory qualification has been restored too. If you want to board this semester, take the application form to the dorm management office and pay the fees.”

“Oh,” Xu Jue flipped through the form and notice. “Can I apply for half day boarding?”

“Decide for yourself. Just don’t be late for morning reading.” In the new semester, Bai Suzhen had quite a lot to keep her busy. After handling this small matter, she was about to go back to her class to maintain discipline. Remembering something, she called him back. “I remember your home is pretty far from school. What’s the point of half day boarding?”

Xu Jue scratched at the paper, mixing truth and lies. “I still have work to do after evening study hall ends. The art studio assigns homework every day.”

The classroom was in chaos. Qiu Yuanfei was copying Wei Xiaoduo’s biology test at lightning speed, then drawing a crooked Doraemon in the corner when he was done. Wei Xiaoduo actually didn’t blow up when she saw it. While pinning a new bow hair clip into her ponytail, she discussed entertainment news with the girl sitting next to her. “Holy crap, did you see the hot search last night? Ruan Yu actually committed suicide!”

“It’s basically an earthquake in the music world,” her deskmate sighed. “Such a shame. My sister really liked his songs.”

This hot search had been sitting high on the entertainment charts, occupying the top spot for a full eight hours.

After getting up and having breakfast, Chen Qian hurried to the Little Fish Studio. Yu Huo was holding his phone in a daze. Hearing the wind chimes at the door, he only lifted his eyes slightly.

The news of Ruan Yu’s suicide had been posted on a timer. The blog post was brief: an apology to his fans, and one completed song. The song was titled “The Lost Pearl.”

“He often lay on the floor watching the sunrise and sunset outside the window. Greedy for life and afraid of death, yet longing to be burned by sunlight. The lost pearl fell to the human world, hiding and dodging. Perhaps you can calm down and listen to what he has to say.”

“The Lost Pearl” became a suicide note. The lyrics became a confession. Yu Huo asked, “Did he already have this plan before he came to me?”

A sick person. A person who wasn’t understood. He walked on the edge of the world, swaying and about to fall. That foot stepping into empty air was probably because he finally had nothing left to hold onto.

The works Yu Huo had submitted to the HALO Photography Exhibition couldn’t be withdrawn. This exhibition had considerable influence domestically. No one knew what kind of waves that photo would stir up when the time came.

Fang Jianhai sent a message, promising to help him manage media relations and try to make big problems small and small problems disappear. If small problems couldn’t be made to disappear, he would guide public opinion in a positive direction.

Chen Qian asked, “Doesn’t the contract clearly state in black and white that you hold the usage rights to the work?”

Yu Huo was meticulous. Since opening the studio, he had triple checked every contract. “Yes.”

Chen Qian guessed, “This was probably the last gift he left for himself.”

Leaving Yu Huo’s place, Chen Qian strolled along the street, recalling Ruan Yu’s somewhat crazed state when writing songs. Actually, he could tell at the time. This singer was trending toward a sick mindset. He didn’t say anything only because he was worried that Yu Huo, doing photography for the first time, would have concerns and not handle the camera well.

Passing by a furniture store, Chen Qian pushed aside the distracting thoughts in his mind, went in, found the sleep section, compared several options, and finally ordered a two meter long single bed.

Back home, Chen Qian stood in the study pondering for a long time. He took tools and removed the footboard of this bed, pushed two storage boxes over, and put them together turning the one point eight meter bed into a rough two point two meters. Enough for Xu Jue to stretch out his legs.

Actually, he hadn’t explicitly refused when Xu Jue came to his bedroom to share the bed. As long as Xu Jue came over, he would quietly make room for half the space. When his light sleep was disturbed in the middle of the night by Xu Jue hugging and touching him from behind, he never resisted.

Who would have thought his red berries had been rubbed round and flat, his butt had been warmed up, and on the night before school started, Xu Jue took his pillow back to the study, saying he was worried about waking him up when he got up the next morning.

It wasn’t like he had this kind of awareness when he was usually getting handsy.

After finishing up, Chen Qian threw the tools back in the cabinet. When he closed the cabinet door, he thought about it and removed all the locks from the drawers and cabinets.

Chen Qian hadn’t gone through the things in the cabinets for a long time. He found that unfinished physics test from back then, picked up a pen, rolled around on Xu Jue’s bed, and lay on the pillow holding his breath as he worked through the problems again.

When he looked up after finishing, he happened to catch sight of a thin piece of fabric hanging by the headboard. It was actually stained with mottled white marks a substantial amount, showing just how vigorous his vitality was.

“Annoying.” Chen Qian cursed under his breath. He had time to buy him breakfast but no time to clean up the crime scene. Shameless.

He tossed aside the test, took off the black thong and headed to the bathroom. He turned the faucet, worked hard without complaint, and scrubbed the black thong clean.

Once the spring equinox passed, the weather clearly warmed up. The winter clothes on the coat rack couldn’t keep hanging there gathering dust. After washing and drying, they were put away. The study didn’t have a wardrobe. Xu Jue’s clothes took up a small half of Chen Qian’s wardrobe, squeezed in together and picking up the same scent of aromatherapy.

Teenage boys were active. When the temperature rose a bit, they couldn’t stand the heat. Usually a short sleeve and a jacket were enough to get through early spring. After playing ball on Friday after school, he came home, threw off his jacket, bit the bottle opening and glugged down half a bottle of soda.

Chen Qian’s work hours were about half an hour later than when Xu Jue got home from school. He walked out of the bedroom, his see through white shirt still unbuttoned, the two ribbons at his neck also hanging loose.

He held a pair of nipple covers, leaning against the wall watching Xu Jue tilt his head back drinking soda, his adam’s apple rolling, his arm bending with beautiful lines, the hand gripping the bottle with long slender fingers. No wonder he had been able to reach so deep back then.

Suddenly, Xu Jue coughed a few times, embarrassedly wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Chen Qian asked, “Why are you drinking so fast? No one’s fighting you for it.”

Xu Jue screwed the cap back on. He was trying to look cool but ended up making a fool of himself. Where was the suave look he had when the girls on the sidelines were cheering during the basketball game? “What are you staring at me for so long?”

“Waiting for you.” Chen Qian held out what was in his hand. “Help me put these on?”

If Xu Jue said no, Chen Qian would really let it go. Outside the nightclub, he’d take off his outerwear and let others admire the scenery twisted red beneath his shirt.

Xu Jue reluctantly took the two pieces of skin colored silicone, peeled off the film, and looked up at the person opposite him who was so calm and collected even while asking for help. He was somewhat defiant. He stood in place and spread his arms a bit, saying, “Come here.”

Chen Qian smiled, obediently walked over and pressed his back into Xu Jue’s chest. Xu Jue lowered his head, and his chin rested on the hollow of the other person’s shoulder.

Every time they were in this position, Xu Jue would make a comparison in his mind. Chen Qian wasn’t short, but his frame was on the smaller side. When pressed against his chest, the obvious size difference always made him fantasize about many positions where he could lift him up and do things.

His finger brushed a spot. Chen Qian nudged him with his elbow. “Why is your hand wet?”

Xu Jue said, “I was just holding a soda.”

“If it’s wet, it won’t stick properly.” Chen Qian was sharp. He grabbed Xu Jue’s school uniform hem to wipe his hand. “There.”

Xu Jue blew a breath at that spot from this angle, drying the water trace left there just now. He pinched the nipple cover and stuck it on, held it for a few seconds to let it set.

Then he moved to the other side, continuing like after sales service, helping Chen Qian button up and tie the ribbons, tying the hardest to untie kind of bow. “What time do you get off work tonight?”

Chen Qian tugged at the bow. He really couldn’t pull it loose. “Around eleven. Friday business is usually better.”

“Don’t let people touch you.”

“That’s how it is in our line of work. A little touching is nothing.”

The person behind him fell silent. Chen Qian only felt his shoulder sink a bit heavier. So he said, “I’ll try to find some first time customers. They won’t be too wild.”

He didn’t reveal even a hint of the possibility of quitting soon, because he himself wasn’t sure how long this “soon” would be, or how likely this possibility was.

Tired of playing drinking games with customers, Chen Qian ran out to the side door for some fresh air. He opened his memo app to look at the information he had gathered and organized these past days. The densely packed paragraphs were all memorized by heart. They were the professional terms he had learned from Mr. Meng that day. He still didn’t know if they would come in handy, but he had to make sure everything was foolproof.

A cigarette burned out. Chen Qian didn’t stub it out, watching wisps of white smoke drift and scatter in the air.

There was a black spot on the step railing. It was from the many times he had stubbed out cigarette butts there, accumulated over time. He remembered setting himself a deadline last November: finish this pack of Esse and quit.

He had been smoking more frequently lately. There were only three packs left at home.

Actually, one cigarette had been taken care of by Xu Jue. That was in early March. Xu Jue had gone back to his original home once, to celebrate his mother’s birthday.

No matter how much resentment there was, it didn’t mean cutting off that relationship. Xu Jue went back for a meal and returned to Sixth Alley a little past eleven at night. Chen Qian hadn’t expected him back so early. He had just finished himself off with a small remote control. The thing was still inside, not pulled out, with a light pink string hanging outside.

Chen Qian crossed his legs. His robe gathered and covered everything. Nothing could be seen. He lit a grape flavored cigarette and exhaled smoke, holding a mouthful of smoke and blowing it at the base of Xu Jue’s ear behind him. It was a pretty fresh scent, but this person wasn’t very happy. Probably because he had gotten spit on again during that trip tonight.

“Smoke?” Chen Qian offered Xu Jue one.

Xu Jue turned back, a bit hesitant. “I don’t know how.”

“I’ll teach you, but you can’t get addicted.” Chen Qian held the filter to Xu Jue’s lips. “Be good. Open your mouth.”

When Xu Jue opened his mouth and bit down, his lips touched Chen Qian’s fingers. That hand had rubbed between legs. Chen Qian laughed and cursed, “Dummy.”

The lighter clicked and a flame jumped up. Chen Que lit it for Xu Jue, watching Xu Jue’s eyes light up in the firelight. “Tighten your cheeks. Take a drag and try it. Don’t go too fast.”

He spoke too slowly. Xu Jue took one hurried drag, choked, took the cigarette away and coughed hard a few times. Chen Qian laughed so hard he rocked back and forth. The pink string swayed beneath his robe.

When he finished laughing, he was about to speak when Xu Jue asked with a flushed face, “Do you think I’m like a child who will never grow up?”

That’s what his mom said about him. He didn’t want Chen Qian to think so too.

The smile hadn’t faded from Chen Qian’s face. His fingertip slid down Xu Jue’s earlobe and he said, “Xu Jue, growing up takes time.”

“It’s fine if I don’t grow up. Staying just like this is pretty good.”