Deep in the Act: Chapter 30

Gao Zhun sat on the bed, freshly showered, wearing Fang Chi’s oversized T shirt. His underwear was newly bought from the supermarket, a bit tight.

Fang Chi came out of the restroom, not wearing his glasses, drying his hair with a towel while squinting at him. “New environment. Are you scared?”

“No,” Gao Zhun was shy, head lowered, revealing a clean, beautiful neck. “Am I being too much of a bother?”

“It’s fine,” Fang Chi casually tossed the towel onto the sofa. He was also wearing a T shirt, with a pair of large shorts on his lower half that Gao Zhun didn’t have. He lifted the covers and climbed in from the foot of the bed. “Are your feet well behaved? Don’t kick my face in the middle of the night.”

Gao Zhun slept very still. Most of the time he actually couldn’t sleep at all, but he lied and said, “I sometimes move around. How about…” He nervously twisted his fingers. “We sleep on the same side.”

Fang Chi was taken aback. For that one moment, Gao Zhun felt as if several minutes had passed. Stammering, he couldn’t hold out and told the truth. “I… want to sleep on the same side as you.”

“Why?” Fang Chi asked.

Gao Zhun didn’t answer, only stubbornly pleaded. “Sleep on the same side. Okay?”

Fang Chi sighed and dragged the pillow from the foot of the bed to the head. He couldn’t see clearly, but he could feel Gao Zhun’s gaze. The eager kind, the kind that wished it could melt into a pool of water or a ball of fire. “I have work tomorrow. Sleep early.” He got onto the bed, propped up on one elbow, and put his hand on the bedside lamp switch. “I’m turning off the light?”

“Wait a moment,” Gao Zhun seemed very neurotic. “Can you hold my hand first?”

Fang Chi knew he hadn’t faced absolute darkness in a very long time. This was normal for some PTSD patients. “Tonight we can sleep with the lights on.”

“No need,” Gao Zhun curled up his body and lay down. “I want you to see me trying.”

Fang Chi hadn’t felt this heart wrenching sensation in many years. Like someone had pinched the flesh at the tip of his heart hard. He grabbed Gao Zhun’s hand under the covers. That cold, artist’s hand. “Lights off. Close your eyes.”

Gao Zhun was very obedient. He closed his eyes and lay still properly. Immediately after, everything went dark. Almost at the same time, he subconsciously tightened his grip on Fang Chi’s hand. A gentle voice immediately spoke by his ear. “Don’t be scared. I’m here.”

The rustling sound of clothes rubbing together and the mattress springing. Fang Chi lay down at an appropriate distance. Gao Zhun cautiously opened his eyes. Pitch black, he couldn’t see anything. He panicked a little. “Dr… Dr. Fang!”

“Hmm?” Fang Chi’s voice was lazy, completely different from how he was in the clinic.

“It’s nothing,” hearing his voice, Gao Zhun felt at ease. But the ease didn’t last long before he anxiously called again. “Dr. Fang?”

“Hmm.” Fang Chi responded immediately. Gao Zhun didn’t know what was wrong with himself, acting like a child tormenting someone. This nameless restless feeling made his whole body tremble, even impulsively wanting to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Fang Chi had no choice but to press over from the other side of the bed, bringing warm breath and a masculine scent that wasn’t there during the day. Gao Zhun shamelessly entrusted his whole self into Fang Chi’s hands, like a woman without a master, softly clinging to his shoulders. Fang Chi immediately fell silent. Maybe it was the darkness, maybe it was being in bed, he became unlike himself, just a man who was depended on and needed. He took the risk and embraced the person.

“Ah…” Gao Zhun let out a satisfied sigh. This sound was extremely dangerous, yet also lingering and fragile, forming countless echoes in Fang Chi’s mind. His two hands used great force, caressing all over Gao Zhun’s body. The supple waistline, the round butt, the chest exposed from the T shirt being pulled, and the large patches of skin on his thighs. Indeed, as Zuo Lin Lin had said, he was smooth like a woman.

Both of their breathing grew louder, rising and falling in the pitch black room. Gao Zhun felt like a small boat in a violent storm, tossed about until it was about to shatter. Fear, despair, and physical pleasure were mixed together, making him erect with abandon. He began to hum, humming urgently, writhing like a snake against Fang Chi’s body as he hummed. The more he writhed, the bolder he became. He actually clenched his butt and rubbed his erect lower body back and forth against Fang Chi’s groin.

Fang Chi had long been lost in confusion. He held him like holding a porcelain vase. So firm, so careful. His groin grew hot from the rubbing. He reluctantly admitted to himself that he liked this feeling. Not only liked it, but was faintly trying to respond. He moved his hips obscenely, using his half hard lower body to rub against Gao Zhun’s erect penis. This small movement drove Gao Zhun mad. His underwear was so tight, and sweat made it sticky, clinging to his butt like a net, bringing him a perverse pleasure.

Gao Zhun loosened his tightly clenched teeth and used his burning hot lips to touch Fang Chi’s cheek. Fang Chi sensitively dodged away. Gao Zhun didn’t give up. Using half his body’s weight, he hung onto Fang Chi’s neck, tilting his head to reach his lips from below. Fang Chi knew his tricks all too well. Before Gao Zhun could get there, he lowered his head first and buried his face in Gao Zhun’s thin neck, slowly exhaling a breath of cool air.

“Mmm… mmm…” Gao Zhun trembled, his butt unable to stop twisting, his lower body growing harder and harder, pressing tightly against Fang Chi’s. “Dr. Fang… Dr. Fang!” He rubbed without any shame, ten fingers gripping Fang Chi’s T shirt tight, calling his name like he was calling for help. But Fang Chi didn’t respond, only stroking his body again and again, writhing against his lower body.

That night was so long, so long that one’s mind went numb. They didn’t even know how it ended, how they fell asleep. When Gao Zhun woke up, the sky was already faintly bright. His lower back ached, and his two legs were still clamped around one of Fang Chi’s legs. Last night he had been arching his butt and rubbing against it like this. Gao Zhun was too ashamed to turn around. He quietly lifted the covers and saw his crotch was sticky, layer upon layer of semen, some parts already dried and hardened.

There was a sound of turning over behind him. Gao Zhun was like a deer with ears pricked up, alert, not daring to move. Fang Chi got out of bed, stepped into slippers, and walked into the restroom. The door closed, and shower water ran loudly. Gao Zhun hugged his knees waiting on the bed. The wet, tight underwear made him very uncomfortable. He didn’t dare recall last night’s self. Too wanton, too filthy. Thinking of this, he quickly got up to check the covers, afraid of dirtying Fang Chi’s bed. Just as he was bent over, Fang Chi came out.

He didn’t look at him, just dressing himself. Gao Zhun was scared and called softly. “Dr. Fang.”

He ignored him, going straight to the kitchen to make breakfast. Gao Zhun used his own shirt to cover his lower half and chased after him to the kitchen. “Last night was my fault. Please don’t…”

“Enough,” Fang Chi seemed very irritable. “Go shower. We leave at eight.”

Gao Zhun asked anxiously, “Then… when will you go back with me to get my things?” As if he could already guess the result, he said in a muffled voice, “Is it… not happening anymore?”

Fang Chi turned his back coldly, using a dinner knife to chop up a freshly peeled hard boiled egg. “We’ll talk about it tonight.”

Gao Zhun didn’t have a good day. He sat in his office in a daze. Secretary Bu Zhan came by several times, but he pushed her off to Justin. It wasn’t until after three in the afternoon, when Justin left early for something, that he reluctantly looked at a few cases. He distractedly endured until four thirty, then set off for Fang Chi’s place. When he arrived, Secretary Li hadn’t left yet. She warmly poured him tea, flipping through the visitor records. “Last client of the day. Almost done.”

Gao Zhun smiled and thanked her, sitting down on the long bench. Sure enough, in less than five minutes, the clinic door opened. A tall man in a suit came out. Lively double eyelids, the full masseter muscles unique to young people. On his right middle finger, a custom made silver plated ring. Gao Zhun remembered it as the work of a certain Polish independent artist. “Justin?” he called out in surprise.

Justin was even more surprised than him. His big eyes went perfectly round. In those eyes was first delight, melting like spring water, glossy and bright. Then panic, like a child who had skipped class. Finally he recovered the calm that an adult man should have. “Boss,” he greeted respectfully, his accent sounding a bit strange. “Why are you also…”

He was talking about psychological counseling. Gao Zhun felt a moment of panic, but quickly put on his superior’s airs. “Been under a lot of pressure lately. Came to relax. What about you?”

“I… me too.” He was clearly lying. Gao Zhun didn’t want to pry, nor was he interested. “That aesthetic art exhibition scheduled for last week, how are the preparations going?”

“The preliminary work is already done. The contractor we found was…” As he spoke, he habitually leaned his tall body toward Gao Zhun. That suffocating sense of oppression came again. Gao Zhun dodged backward. At that moment, the clinic door opened a crack. Fang Chi stood in the doorway wiping his lenses, using a polite yet familiar tone to say, “Mr. Gao, coming in?”

Gao Zhun of course went in. When passing by Justin, he casually said, “Rest more.” It was only after the door closed behind him that he let out a breath of relief.

“You know each other?” Fang Chi asked somewhat heavily.

“Justin,” Gao Zhun set down his briefcase, seeming unable to believe it. “Why would he come? What… illness does he have?”

“Just ordinary insomnia.” Fang Chi closed the case file on his desk. In the cause column, he had written: harbors sexual fantasies about a same sex superior.

“Is he too tired?” Gao Zhun murmured to himself. “He doesn’t seem like someone who would have insomnia.”

Fang Chi’s tone suddenly turned unpleasant. “You care about him a lot?”

Gao Zhun was taken aback, then immediately said, “No, I just…”

Fang Chi made a “stop” gesture. He knew he had overreacted, because he had recalled the content of the consultation just now. When talking about sexual desire toward his superior, that young man had said obsessively, “I think he has feelings for me too.”

“Why do you think that?” Fang Chi asked while taking notes.

“He sometimes steals glances at me, from his office window. When I deliberately get close to him, he has a kind of… shy reaction. I think he’s seducing me!”

“Has he expressed anything to you?” At that time Fang Chi still didn’t know who this imagined superior was, so he asked without emotion.

“No, he wouldn’t,” the young man turned his big eyes, seeming very excited. “He’s waiting for me to make the first move,” he didn’t seem to be in a consultation, but rather in a discussion. “At his age, and as a superior, he can’t possibly take the initiative.”

“Is there a big gap between you? I mean in age.”

“About ten plus years,” speaking of age, he seemed somewhat discouraged, but quickly composed himself. “But age is not a problem, you know.”

“You have overseas living experience?”

“Yes, I was in Canada the whole time when I was young.”

“What do you plan to do,” Fang Chi looked up at him, filling in “risk” in the realistic harm assessment column, “about this superior?”

“Find a suitable opportunity to corner him,” the young man frowned in thought. “He’s very shrewd.”

“What is your original sexual orientation?”

“Oh, I have a girlfriend,” the young man loosened his tie, silk jacquard, clearly valuable. “For him, I broke up,” he laughed self mockingly. “Now I’m not so averse to anal sex either.”

“When you say corner him, you mean…” Fang Chi weighed his words, and in the end used the same word the young man had just used. “To sodomize him?”

The young man laughed and licked his lips. “Sodomite.”

Sodomite. Sodomy. Fang Chi tried hard to control his emotions. He didn’t want to lose his composure in front of Gao Zhun. “This Justin, how old is he?”

“He just turned twenty three last month,” Gao Zhun’s expression was natural, like an innocent lamb, clearly completely unaware of Justin’s lustful fantasies. “He’s still a child. What’s wrong?”

“Come here,” Fang Chi reached out toward him. Such a direct invitation made Gao Zhun’s face flush red immediately. Bashful and coy, he leaned over and was grabbed around the waist. Fang Chi pressed against his ear and said hotly, “Stay far away from him. As far as possible.”

Such passionate words made Gao Zhun somewhat at a loss. “Why? Did he… say something?”

“No, no,” Fang Chi couldn’t disclose patient information, saying forcefully, “Will you listen to me or not?”

Gao Zhun immediately nodded. Fang Chi almost commanded, “Don’t be alone with him.”

“Can you… tell me what exactly is going on?”

“Must I spell it out for you,” Fang Chi’s tone turned suggestive, his fingers seemingly absentmindedly playing with Gao Zhun’s earlobe. “I don’t like you having too much contact with other men. Especially him.”

Gao Zhun could hardly believe he had said such words. His senses became abnormally sharp, to the point where he could even hear the sound of his own blood flowing. The skin all over his body flushed red. He hugged Fang Chi desperately, throwing all caution to the wind.

“When we’re done here, I’ll go back with you to get your things.” Fang Chi gave him another piece of candy.

Gao Zhun was so overjoyed he didn’t know what to do with himself. “Re… really?”

“But promise me, when you get in bed, just sleep.”

“I promise. I’ll promise anything you say.”

Fang Chi didn’t believe his promise at all. Once in bed, he wouldn’t be himself, and Fang Chi would also become unlike himself.