Rule No. 1: Don’t be too emotional : Chapter 13

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me.

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I remained frozen like a stone, as if cursed. My breath, which had hitched, became ragged and erratic. I turned around to find P’Jane sitting on a chair in the canteen. The screech of the chair sliding against the floor as he stood up made me jump.

He began to stalk toward me with predatory strides.

“Huh… ?”

“Well, Jane?” I scrambled backward as he closed the distance. The few flickering lights in the cafeteria made the atmosphere feel like a horror movie. I felt a deathly chill, yet sweat soaked my back. Finally, I jolted as my back hit the wall. There was nowhere left to run. P’Jane loomed over me, our faces only inches apart. My breathing was out of sync. Even in my scattered state, I knew I could try to push him and run, but a smarter voice in my head screamed that such a move would be suicidal. Bang! The sound of his heavy left hand slamming against the wall beside me made me leap. P’Jane’s face held no trace of playfulness. He was angry-terrifyingly so. But in that second, a creepy, thin smile appeared on his face.

“So, what is this all about? You can tell me.” The spark in his dark eyes was sharp.

“You know, Jane… whatever you ask, I answer everything.”

“P’Jane.”

“Yeah?” I took a deep breath, shouting the first sentence echoing in my head: “Are you stalking me?!” He tilted his head slightly, studying my face. Silence hung for a moment before he answered.

“No.” How could I know he wasn’t lying again? He had lied about everything else.”… Liar.”

“What was that?” the tall man asked.

“Liar! I said you’re a liar!” I used both arms to shove his chest with all my might, causing him to stumble back. I tried to regain my composure. Why was I so afraid of him when I hadn’t done anything wrong? He was the one in the wrong; he should be the one afraid of me. He couldn’t treat me like a criminal.

“Lying about what?” He recovered with unbelievable speed, cornering me once more. His eyes were sharp, filled with a blue flame of emotion-a blue flame that burns hotter than a red one.

“What did I lie to you about, Jane?” he raised his voice.

“Everything! You lied about everything! Do you really have to ask? You should try to figure out what you didIn’t lie about instead!”

“What exactly are you talking about?”

“P’Jane, you’re twenty-seven years old!” I screamed so hard my body arched. It was the only time I saw his pupils dilate in shock. But it was only for a second… just one second.

“You’re twenty-seven! Named Jane Patrick or whatever nonsense!” I exploded, unable to hold it in.

“But you told me you were Thai! And you didn’t have a girlfriend in your sophomore year here!”

” You said your mom was a housewife and your dad worked in a shoe factory and now a shipping company.

But you wear a 4. 2million baht Rolex! You have dozens of cars! What part of what you said was the truth?!”

“Jane… ”

“Isn’t sincerity the first barrier for a couple?!” I didn’t give him a chance to explain.

“Since you deceived me about everything, how can I believe you? How can we love each other if you lie like this? I don’t even understand why you lied about some of it. I can never trust you again!” The words poured out like hot lava from a volcano.

“Putt, P’Dan… everyone told me you weren’t what I thought, but l didn’t know it was this heavy!” He stared at me, motionless, as if waiting for me to finish. I decided to end the outburst quickly.

“I think we should stop talking. I can’t handle this. Don’t play with my heart.”

“Jane… Jane!” I hurried down the nearby stairs, but he followed relentlessly. I tried to run, but his tall frame yanked me against the wall again. This time, he locked me in tight with both arms, trapping me so l could barely move. I glared at him. No, I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t wrong.

“P’Jane, let go. Let me go, now!”

“You’re the one who needs to listen to me first!” He roared so loudly I fell silent. His face was serious now, not terrifyingly angry like before. He clearly hadn’t expected me to uncover his secrets-whatever he had hidden behind that beautiful mask. The fiery gaze of the padlock pendant owner calmed down slightly, though sparks still flickered in his eyes. The silence was so heavy l could hear his long breaths, as if he were managing his rage. Finally, he spoke with deliberation.

“I told you before that you know me. You should know best what kind of person I am. We’ve been closer than anyone. Why do you believe others over me?”

“Because nothing you said was the truth!” I snapped back instantly.

“I didn’t lie to you. Not a single thing.”

“What do you mean? What is that long real name of yours? I saw with my own eyes that you were born in 1994 on your American ID! No one ‘told’ me that, I saw it!” He closed his eyes patiently, then opened them and spoke quickly.” I’m not actually biracial… I’m one-quarter (mixed)!”

“And you had to wait for this to happen before telling me?! Would you have died if you told me when I asked?!”

“Jane! You only asked if I was biracial. I said I wasn’t. I didn’t lie to you at all!”

” You said you were Thai!”

“I said, ‘Can’t a Thai person be named Jane?’ I never said I was only Thai. And it is just Jane; it doesn’t stand for anything.’ Jane Patrick’is just two first names put together. It’s like a girl named Rose Mary-Rose doesn’t have to be short for Rosanne.” I was so mad smoke could have come out of my ears. Unbelievable, this man.

“As for mny family, I didn’t deceive you. They met in America when my mom went for her Master’s. My dad is biracial (Thai-American), born and raised there. My mom is 100% Thai. They divorced when I was in primary school, and I lived with my dad. I only moved to Thailand to be with my mom a few years ago. And it’s true my dad worked for a shoe company and now a shipping firm… ” I stared at him, knowing there was more. No wonder when I asked if it was hard to adjust to Thailand, he just smiled. He hadn’t “returned” to Thailand; he had moved to a brand new country. He took a breath and continued reluctantly.

“My dad was the CEO of CHUCK TARRY, the men’s shoe company. Now he’s just a shareholder. Most of his time goes to Palakorn Trade Express.” I felt like a balloon inflating with the hot air of rage. His father is Mr. Chuck Tarry Palakorn-one of the world’s most influential billionaires. And he never mentioned it?!

“My mom’s name is Sakuna Juengtaweekiatyod… ” I almost went crazy. That’s a famous political surname! I’d seen her on TV!

“She doesn’t work. Mostly she just attends social events with the clan, so I said she’s a housewife.”

“So you’re saying I misunderstood because I interpreted your answers that way?! Do you think your words were clear or vague? A brain like yours should know better!”

“I’m sorry… ”

“Save it!” I was boiling. He hadn’t “lied,” but he used wordplay to lead me to the wrong conclusions. It was even more infuriating.” Jane… I’m really sorry. But since l’ve known you, I have never lied to you.”

“You didn’t lie, but you concealed! You didn’t tell the whole truth! And the age? Twenty-seven? Breaking up in sophomore year? P’Dan said you never had a girlfriend at this uni!” P’Jane slammed the wall, cursed quietly in English, then turned back.

“Yes, I’m twenty-seven. Because I dropped out of Harvard in my senior year. I started my bachelor’s over here at twenty-four. The girlfriend I had in sophomore year… was sophomore year at Harvard, not here. And in the US, to go to law school, you need a prior degree. I finished one at twenty-in Psychology.” I looked at him in shock, asif he’d just laid an egg in front of me. Harvard? Our uni is top-tier in Thailand, but it’s nothing compared to Harvard. I knew his brain had faced something much bigger before. And he finished his first degree at twenty-my current age.” Why didn’t you just finish? You were a senior!”

“It was emotionally complicated. I couldn’t stand it anymore. 1moved to Thailand because my mom asked. I’ve been with my dad my whole life; I wanted to be with her. Even if we don’t see each other much, I help out the Juengtaweekiatyod relatives.” I was stunned. My anger evaporated into awe.

“You must be crazy.”” Alright, I’ve told you everything. Can you cool down and talk to me normally now?” After he cleared everything up, I felt a lot better. Maybe it was just the shock of the Harvard thing. He was actually a sweet son, moving across the world just because his mom asked.

“I wanted to experience being a Thai student. New society. If I did a Master’s, it would be too short. I like studying.”

“And your dad? Mr. Chuck isn’t remarried?”

“He has plenty of ‘young girls.’ He’s not lonely. Someday I’Il have to go back to the US anyway.”

“Then why hide it? Why make your life a secret?” P’Jane looked at me seriously.

“Why should I announce my private business to everyone? Private life is like underwear; do we need to tell people what color we’re wearing?” He had a point.

“As for age… Thailand is obsessed with seniority. If Itold people l was born in ’94 as a freshman, I’d be a target. The seniors would be uncomfortable. It wasn’t useful to broadcast it.”

“But I’m the one you’re talking to! We’re going to be boyfriends! How can I only know as much as everyone else?”

“I’m sorry. I have a habit of keeping secrets, especially about my status. People treat you differently when they know.” He was right. But I told him it didn’t change my feelings. I wouldn’t love him more because he was rich or less because he was a “dropout.”

“So… are we still talking?” he asked. I nodded, looking at the grass behind him. My heart felt full again, like a freshly baked souffle. P’Jane smiled and ruffled my hair.

“Ow! P’Jane!”

“Next time, ask me first. Don’t go hiding like that.” “… ”

“I was sad you avoided me, Jane.”

“Sad? You looked angry and scary!”

“I was really sad. More than angry. My heart hurt.” I blushed. He told me he liked me so much he couldn’t sleep. It made me feel special, like I “owned” this perfect man. I realized I actually liked older men-the “Daddy” feel (but not the sugar daddy kind).

“No more running from me, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Then let’s go eat.” Later that night, I found myself in his “lion’s den”-his condo. He pushed me onto the dark blue sheets, crushing his lips against mine.

“P’Jane… you promised you wouldn’t do anything… ” I murmured as he kissed my neck.

“I’m not doing anything.” Liar! My buttons were almost all undone!

“I’m not ready… ”

“But your body is ready.”

“Don’t trick me into this… ”

“Oh… Jane-baby.” That “Jane-baby” again. My heart melted like ice in the sun. Soon, we were both bare. He kissed my chest, his cold padlock pendant grazing my skin. I hoped he wouldn’t break my heart; I hoped he was a man of his word. P’Jane kissed his way up to my neck, then stared into my eyes. He opened his mouth, and something fell out. It was incredibly sexy. A key pendant. He put the necklace around my bare neck. The key rolled onto my chest. He leaned down and kissed it softly. I was overwhelmed with emotion. He had made a matching set for me. He was truly opening his heart.

“I’ve been wanting to give this to you for a long time, but you kept hiding.” He took the key around my neck and inserted it into his own padlock. Click. It locked perfectly. Our faces were so close I could see his eyelashes. He wasn’t biracial, just a “quarter,” but in this light, I saw the deep Western eye sockets and the high bridge of his nose. He was the perfect blend of East and West.

“Be Nong Jane for P’Jane forever, okay?””… ”

“Please?” I nodded with a wide smile, tears in my eyes. I loved him. That night, we “helped each other” without the lock and key ever coming apart. We didn’t have full sex-I’m still a virgin, I swear on a Bodhi tree! But P’Jane kept his word. Though he warned me he might not be able to hold back next time. The next morning, he dropped me off at school. I was early-7: 30AM. While waiting for my friends, a girl from my year sat across from me. Her name started with a ‘J’ too… Jui.

“Jane”

“Oh! Hey, Jui.”

“Jane… I heard you’re close with P’Jane. P’Jane, the senior.” My heart sped up. Was she going to ask me to give him a gift? Or a love confession?

“Uh, what is it, Jui?”

“Please tell P’Jane… tell him not to do anything to me. I’m sorry l ran away. Tonight at 10: 00 PM, I’ll wait for him at Parking Lot B. If he wants to change the time, just please… tell him to unblock my number and call me. I won’t run again. Whatever he asked for… I’ll do it. Everything. I’ll do everything.” Jui was trembling with absolute terror. Her eyes overflowed with tears, which splashed onto my arm.

“Please, Jane… tell himfor me. I don’t know what to do anymore.” I watched my classmate sob as if her heart were breaking. What on earth is going on?!