Rule No. 1: Don’t be too emotional : Chapter 28

“The devil and I get along just fine.”

Anonymous ···

“P’Jane! How did you get here?! Oh my god, this is so romantic!” Namkhing cried out excitedly on my behalf. She seemed to be the first one in our group to snap out of the collective shock. The tall figure slowly stepped toward us, and I felt the warmth of his large palm resting on my head, ruffling my hair with gentle tenderness. Ordinarily, I would have stood there soaking it in until he pulled away, but today, I instinctively flinched and drew back. My reaction stunned everyone, including the tall man who had just touched me. I kept my head down, staring at my toes, gripping my collar tightly as if it were a lifeline. I didn’t dare look him in the eye. The atmosphere became colder than the winter air surrounding us. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I slowly looked up and met Jane’s piercing, X-ray-like gaze. He was already watching me. His stare made my entire body tremble before his eyes narrowed, zeroing in on my hand clutching my collar. He stepped forward and suddenly seized my hand.

“P’Jane! No! Don’t!”

“Hey, P’Jane, what are you doing to him?”

“P’Jane, please calm down! What’s going on?” I tried to twist away while my friends cried out in alarm, but no one could stop him. Jane’s grip was like iron pliers. Eventually, he managed to pry my hand away, grabbed my scarf, and violently yanked open my layers of clothing, snapping the buttons to reveal my skin. Several fresh, bright red hickeys were clearly visible on my chest. I could only turn my face away, biting my lip so hard it hurt. My eyes stung with unshed tears. I felt so suffocated and humiliated that I wished the ground would swallow me whole. Without a second’s hesitation, Jane turned toward Putt. He marched straight to him and delivered a powerful kick to Putt’s midsection, sending him flying onto his back.

“Whoa!” Everyone except me gasped in unison at the violence that erupted too fast for anyone to intervene. Jane grabbed the dazed Putt by the collar, hauled him off the ground, and slammed a right hook into the left side of his face. Blood splattered onto the white snow. Sherry and Namkhing screamed at the top of their lungs. Gap rushed in to restrain P’Jane from behind. The scene was pure chaos. “… Jane.” Gap’s voice sounded like it was coming from the bottom of a deep well.” Jane! Jane!”

“Jane, what are you standing there for? Stop him!” I finally snapped out of it. I rushed in to stand between P’Jane and Putt, but before I knew it, I was knocked to the ground by a powerful upper-cut that caught me right on the chin.

“Jane!” Everyone screamed in shock, including P’Jane and Putt. I tasted blood in my mouth and felt like every tooth in my jaw had been shaken loose. I clutched my chin and mouth with both hands before P’Jane scooped me up from the ground. By that point, I had lost track of reality. Everything looked like it was behind a veil of fog. I saw a battered Putt being supported by Gap, while Namkhing and Sherry looked deathly pale. I glanced at the white snow, now stained with patches of Putt’s blood-blood on the snow. My heart hammered frantically against my ribs until my ears rang… and then, I blacked out. I blinked my eyes open in a warm, soft bed. In the shadows, I saw the silhouette of a shirtless man sitting on the balcony, smoking. Snow fell outside, melting the moment it touched his skin, a sign of how hot his body temperature was.

“Gap? Is that you?” I croaked, closing my eyes again and turning onto my side. My voice was weak and hollow.

“Gap… I had a terrible nightmare. I dreamed P’Jane showed up here in Japan-l don’t even know how-and he got into a massive fight with Putt.” I heard soft footsteps, indicating that the man had stopped smoking and was approaching the bed. I continued, “And I dreamed another thing… that Putt went crazy. He… he… oh, never mind.”

“What did you dream Putt did?” the voice asked, so low I could barely catch it.

“I dreamed he… he… ”

“What?”

“I… he and l… “”… ”

“It’s nothing. I probably just haven’t rested enough. I’m losing my mind.” The soft, thick duvet was suddenly ripped away, startling me.

“Did you dream that you slept with Putt? I don’t think that was a dream.” The deep, clear voice made my heart skip a beat. I snapped my eyes open to see P’Jane standing over me. A chill ran down my spine. His expression was terrifying. I hugged myself, only then realizing I was completely naked. There was a large mirror opposite the bed. I could see my chest and shoulders adorned with hickeys-Putt’s handiwork. I flushed with a mixture of grief and shame.

“P’Jane… give me my clothes,” I whispered. A smirk played on the corner of his mouth as he flicked his cigarette ash onto the floor.

“You’re shy with me, but you weren’t shy with Putt?” Jane leaned over to extinguish his cigarette in a glass ashtray. His hair fell over his eyes, making him look even more intimidating.

“Well? Don’t tell me you two didn’t take your clothes off while you were at it.” He turned back to me with a faint, chilling smile.

“Sex is a great way to stay warm in this weather, isn’t it?” “… ”

“So tell me! Was it satisfying? Did he make you as happy as I do when he fucked you?”

“P’Jane, let go!” I screamed as he grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently.

“How could you do this to me, Jane? Is this how you repay me?!”

“I didn’t sleep with Putt!” My desperate declaration made P’Jane freeze instantly. The grip on my shoulders loosened. I pulled the duvet back over myself before speaking rapidly.

“I didn’t have sex with Putt. Never… it almost happened… only almost. But it didn’t. I’ve never been with anyone but you, P’Jane. Really. You can make me swear it anywhere.”

“Then what about those marks?” I sighed, thinking back to the previous night, and began to tell the story.

“Yes, Putt did that. Don’t ask why l let him, because I didn’t. I fought him with everything I had, but I couldn’t match his strength. He was drunk. He punched me in the stomach until I couldn’t get up. Then he bit my neck. I was crying so hard when he tried to… put his fingers in.” My voice trailed off as Jane’s jaw tightened. I continued.

“And after that… ” ‘I love you. I just want this once, and I ‘Il keep it in my heart forever.’ I let the tears flow down my cheeks. I remembered Putt’s words echoing in my head while his hands roamed over my body. The dull ache in my abdomen spread through my entire being. Could I stop loving P’Jane? How could I? Even in that moment, the only thing I could think of was his eyes. How much would those eyes ache if he knew what was happening to me? The person I wanted to come save me was him. Only him… I had cried as Putt tried to force his fingers inside me. I had tensed my entire body to protect myself, P’Jane’s face the only thing in my mind. ‘Damn it! Why do you have to make this so difficult?!’ Putt had shouted in frustration when he couldn’t get a single finger inside. Since he couldn’t prepare me, he decided to just force himself in anyway. The moment I felt him touch me, I realized something. In this second, no one can help me but myself. Even if I think of ten P’Janes, he can’t help me here. I relaxed my muscles. Putt saw the opportunity and moved in. I waited for the moment he thought I had given up, then I drove my knee into his groin with everything I had. Thud! ‘Agh! Oh god!’ Putt turned pale and collapsed, writhing on the floor like a fish out of water. I hit him two or three more times for good measure. Still clutching my stomach, I crawled to the door of the Onsen and screamed for the staff to help us both.

“That’s how it happened. The hotel staff took Putt for first aid and sent us to our rooms. Once he got kneed, he sobered up. He tried to talk to me all night, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face him. Not until I ran into you this morning.” Jane listened in dead silence. I stared into his eyes to show him l was telling the truth. He remained motionless, searching my gaze to see if my words were genuine. I sighed and muttered, “I’m so unlucky. Punched in the stomach at night, then upper-cut by you in the morning. I didn’t sleep a wink, which is why I fainted. It hurts, you know.”

“I’m sorry.” “Does it hurt a lot?”

“I told you it hurts! Did you put ice on it? Why does it ache like this? If my teeth are broken, you’re paying the dentist bill. Mmph!” I gasped as he suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed my hair.

“Were you very scared last night?” he whispered, his voice soft and thick with emotion.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m sorry, Jane. It’s my fault, sweetheart. It’s all my fault.”

“Hic… ”

“I was wrong.” His simple words broke my dams. I had intended not to cry about it anymore, but his tenderness made it impossible to hold back. In the end, I was just Jane-a sensitive human who needed comfort. I didn’t want to be strong anymore. What happened was traumatic. I was terrified of Putt. Terrified. Our friendship was shattered beyond repair. I couldn’t be Putt’s friend anymore. I kept hearing him say ‘I love you’ over and over. Love? People who love each other don’t do that. Drunk or not, l couldn’t get over it.

“P’Jane… hic… where were you? I was so scared of Putt. I thought of you the whole time, but you didn’t come. Why didn’t you come? I had to save myself all alone… ” I knew I was being irrational and whiny, but I just wanted to vent everything bottled up inside-the fear I’d suppressed all night while surrounded by friends, and a Putt who wasn’t the Putt I knew.” I’m sorry, Jane. I’m so sorry. From now on, no one will ever hurt you again.”

“Huuu… ”

“I’ll protect you myself.” I sobbed in his warm arms. Jane stroked my head comfortingly before making a solemn vow.

“I will never let you out of my sight again. Never.” Once I felt better, I pulled away and used the duvet to wipe my eyes. Jane got me a bottle of mineral water. I drank it thirstily, downing half the bottle before handing it back.

“But how did you even get here? I was so confused when I saw you this morning.”

“I told you… ”

“Huh? What? I don’t get it.” He sat on the bed beside me and leaned in.

“Didn’t you say you missed me?”

“When? When did I say that?”

“Jane, you messaged me: ‘Darling, I miss you.'””… ”

“Since you said that, I had to come find my sweetheart.”

“But… but I unsent it!”

“It popped up on my lock screen.”

“Just for that? You came all the way to Japan just for that?”

“Yes.” “… ”

“What’s wrong?” I bit my lip because the corners of my mouth were threatening to curl into a smile. I imagined him looking at his phone, seeing my message, and immediately packing his bags and booking a flight to Japan without a second thought. Just for that short text. God… how was I supposed to stop my heart from being this happy? I kept my lips pressed tight for a long time before finally letting go.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” I wasn’t surprised he found me, given that I’d sent him my entire itinerary-where I was staying, what I was doing. I’d been updating him constantly.

“Besides, you once invited me to travel with you. So I thought I’d take the opportunity to surprise you and your friends. Who would have thought I’d be the one getting the surprise?” He narrowed his sharp eyes, looking at the marks on my neck. I instinctively covered them, suddenly feeling unsafe-as if he might choke me out of pure rage, even though it wasn’t my fault.

“I told you, I didn’t let him. I was a victim.”

“Iknow.”

“Then why are you looking at me like that? You were just apologizing a minute ago!”

“I’m a jealous boyfriend, damn it. Just the thought of someone looking at you makes me mad. And this… he kissed you, he touched you. I’ve taken such good care of you, I wouldn’t even let a fly land on you. No matter how angry I got, I never forced you. So who does he think he is to do this? I’m trying to keep it together because l know it’s not your fault.” Oh god, why did that sound so weirdly cute? And where did someone like P’Jane learn a Thai idiom like ‘wouldn’t let a fly land on you’? He must have studied Thai very seriously.

“I told you before… don’t make me angry.” I pressed my lips together to stop smiling. Honestly, when he says ‘Don’t make me angry, ‘ it gives me goosebumps. I felt the same way today as I did the last time he said it.

“But you already did that to Putt. You should be over your anger by now.”

“Hmm.” Thinking of Putt made me go quiet for a moment. I didn’t know what state he was in, if he was in the hospital or if he’d been discharged. Gap, Namkhing, and Sherry must be so confused. I felt terrible, but what Putt did was truly evil. He used force, he punched me, and he tried to rape me. Being a man didn’t make it any less serious. It was a miracle I fought him off. I didn’t want to think about what would have happened if P’Jane hadn’t shown up. 1would have had to spend the rest of the trip in suffocating misery just to keep the mood from being ruined for everyone else.

“You’re such a brawler. From P’Win to Chassy, and now Putt… always throwing punches. If I make you angry, will you punch me too? You keep emphasizing not to make you mad.”

“I won’t punch you. I’ll do something else. I’ll do it until you beg for your life.”

“Pervert!” I threw a pillow at him, but he dodged it. P’Jane smiled slightly, his eyes dancing.

“I haven’t even said what l’d do yet. Who’s the pervert here? I might have meant taking you to exercise or play sports until you’re so tired you beg for your life.”

“What kind of sport makes you beg for your life?”

“Indoor sports. Bending and thrusting.” (Thai pun: Gila nai rom, gom laew taeng – referring to snooker, but with a sexual double entendre).

“Disgusting!” I hit him with another pillow.

“P’Jane, you’re so lewd!” I knew it.

“What’s disgusting? I meant playing snooker.”

“Stop talking back! The truth is written all over your face!” We had a pillow fight for a while before we both ended up cuddling on the bed. I snuggled close to him under the same blanket.

“Remember when you invited me to go on a trip together when we were both free?”

“I remember.” He turned to look at me.

“I’m free now. And so are you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then let’s travel together tomorrow.” I gave him a wide smile and nodded, my heart blooming.

“Okay. Let’s go. Everywhere we want to go.” I held his cheeks in my hands. We looked into each other’s eyes, both of us unable to stop smiling. In that moment, I thought of everything that had led me to be stuck with him like this. In the end, it wasn’t so bad. He might be a devil to many, but he was very good to me. Or perhaps the truth was… The devil and I just get along very well. And when you get along with the devil, why would you ever want to get rid of him? Isn’t it better to let the devil protect you forever? I breathed in the cold air, pulling my scarf up over my nose, and looked at the tall man standing beside me as we walked toward a famous temple. He didn’t seem as cold as I was, but that wasn’t surprising-he was an American who had faced countless US winters. The scenery along the way was like a painting, with cherry blossoms blooming as if to welcome us. It was a clean, beautiful, and orderly view that my home country couldn’t offer. It was just the two of us. No bodyguards, no one else. And I was happy… truly happy. We queued like other tourists to visit the temple. Finally, it was my turn to pay respects to the famous deity. I pressed my palms together, but while my eyes were closed to make a wish, I couldn’t help peeking at the man beside me. It wasn’t surprising to see him just standing there watching; he was an agnostic, and he insisted he would always be one. A man who believes in nothing but himself. But even so, I made a wish for him anyway. My wish was simple: I wished for him to be healthy and happy, and the same for myself. Because in the end, happiness is simple-eating well, sleeping well, being healthy, and having peace of mind. Isn’t that right?

“Can you get up?”

“Yes.” I stood up from my kneeling position with the help of the tall man, who was being over-worried as usual. We walked hand-in-hand along a path lined with Japanese-style wooden shops. Even though P’Jane didn’t believe in God or religion, he still brought me to the temple today and even bought me three amulets.

“You’re so gullible,” he teased. He said it because I had rushed to the amulet shop after hearing a Thai tour guide explain to her group how good the amulets here were for work, study, health, and love. I narrowed my eyes and shot back, “If I were that gullible, would I be dating you? I would have run away the moment I heard your reputation.” He just gave a wide, toothless smile, chuckled, and lit a cigarette. I took out my vibrating phone. Gap: The trip is ruined. Putt isn’t saying a word. Namkhing and Sherry don’t dare ask anything. Jane: Don’t let those two know. It’ll just make things awkward for them. Gap: I thought so too. But they’ll have to find out someday. Jane: Yeah. But maybe not right now? Gap: Look, it’s good that you’re with P’Jane. I ‘Il take care of the two girls. Someone needs to slap some sense into Putt. How could he do that? Jane:Is Putt okay? Gap: You’re still worried about him? Worry about yourself! He did that to you. Jane: Yeah, whatever. It’s good if he’s not hurt too bad. But I can’t be his friend anymore. Gap: Sigh. I understand. Who could? I’d stop being friends with him too. I’m on your side, Jane. Jane: I’m putting my phone away now. My hands are cold.

“Finished smoking?” I asked, looking up after putting my phone in my pocket.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Want to keep exploring?” I smiled back, taking his gloved hand.

“Yes. Where should we go?”

“Didn’t you want to go to that famous cake shop?”

“Yes! I really want to try it, but it’ll be crowded. There won’t be any seats. We might queue up and still not get any. Sigh… and it’s getting dark.” He looked at his watch.

“If we just take away, it might not take long. Let’s try.” I nodded excitedly.

“Okay!”

“Mmm… ah! P’Jane!” I moaned as he slid his hot hand under my innermost shirt. My backside was pressed against his hardness. I felt the wetness on the back of my neck as his tongue licked it, sending shivers through my body. His unique scent, mixed with the smell of a freshly finished cigarette, intoxicated me. He yanked down my trousers and underwear, turning me to face him. He swiped a finger through the cream of the famous cake and shoved it into my mouth. I tasted the intense sweetness as P’Jane used his other hand to hurriedly undo his belt and buttons. Then, he hoisted me up to sit on top of him on the bed.

“Nnh… mmm… ” It didn’t require much preparation; my body was more than ready. I gritted my teeth, moaning as I felt him fill me, moving inside me with ferocity. P’Jane didn’t even bother to take off our clothes properly. He was ravenous, possessing me like a starving man. P’Jane was being aggressive… and I was loving it, falling deeper into the sensation. The tall man panted with every thrust, while his free hand smeared more cake cream into his own mouth, staining his handsome face. I kissed him, tasting the sweetness of the cake, moaning in time with the frantic rhythm.

“Lick my face, Jane.”

“Hah… ”

“Do it.”

“Ah… mmm… ”

“Lick it like this, like a puppy.” He spoke , and I felt the heat from my neck up to my forehead.

Pleasure washed over me before I tried to do as he taught.

“Ah, yes… ” He tilted his head back, moaning in satisfaction before giving me a devilish smile.

“Am I delicious? Hmm?”

“De… delicious.”

“Lick me more, Jane. Make me yours alone.” He likes it dirty. I followed his command as if under a spell-a demon’s spell that was impossible to resist-until his face was clean. Then, his large hand smeared the messy cake over my neck, staining both my key necklace and my collar. He buried his face there, biting, licking, and sucking until I cried out loud. P’Jane was being aggressive… and I was loving it, falling deeper into it. I felt him thrumming inside me, heard his ragged breathing and the sound of his gritted teeth. I felt the power as he thrust violently to satisfy both himself and me completely. The sound of our passion mingled with the creaking of the bed as if it were about to break. I tilted my head back and cried out.

“I’m going to make this the best trip of your life, Jane.”

“Ah… P’Jane! P’Jane!”