Deep in the Act: Chapter 27

3705, Zhang Zhun was blocking the door, and Zhen Xin stubbornly held his ground against him. “Open up.”

“Go back to your own room.” Zhang Zhun’s back was pressed against the door panel, looking very nervous.

“I don’t have any medicine in my room.” Zhen Xin knew the key card was in his left pants pocket, so he simply reached in to grab it. Zhang Zhun pushed his hand away while dodging his body, shrinking himself into the narrow shadow of the wall sconce. Zhen Xin quickly glanced left and right down the hallway, then wrapped his arms around him and gave a loud smooch on his cheek.

“Are you crazy!” Zhang Zhun was so startled he covered his cheek, his arm stretched across his chest in defense. But Zhen Xin let go of him, and before he could react, there was a beep, the door opened, and Zhen Xin stuffed the key card back into his hand, turned the handle, and raised his eyebrows with a roguish flair. “Coming in?”

Zhang Zhun stood at the doorway for a long while, until someone dragging a suitcase came from the distance and looked at him strangely. Only then did he push the door and go inside. Zhen Xin was rummaging through his drawers as if they were his own. “Where did Xiao Deng put the medicine?”

Zhang Zhun’s two hands were clenched tightly together, and he asked uneasily, “Are you really hurt?”

“What do you think,” Zhen Xin found a tube of ointment, unscrewed the cap, and sniffed it. “That kid kicked me several times. If I wasn’t afraid of hurting his face, I would have beaten him to death.” As he spoke, he casually tossed the ointment to Zhang Zhun. “You got kicked too when you pulled me away.”

He had indeed been kicked. That kid probably had dance training, so he had some kick to him. “Where are you hurt?” He let down his guard and walked over. But Zhen Xin shrugged off his shirt. “My back, my butt, my front waist.”

Zhang Zhun felt every hair on his body stand on end. Like a leaf startled by wind, like rippling water, he hurriedly averted his eyes. Zhen Xin seemed to deliberately provoke him, slowly undoing his belt, pulling his outer pants down below his butt, and sprawling boldly on the bed. “Come on.”

It was a bare back. Not exactly muscular, but lean and strong. Zhang Zhun’s throat went hoarse, carrying an unexpected shyness. “I’m not good at rubbing…” His voice trembled from the tension. “Usually it’s other people who rub me.”

He meant “rub” as in massage therapy. But Zhen Xin thought of “rub” as in body oil massage. His lower body unexpectedly got a bit hard. “Hurry up, it really hurts.”

So Zhang Zhun sat down on the edge of the bed. The ointment squeezed onto his hand was cold, but as he rubbed it warmed up. “Where?”

“Left shoulder,” Zhen Xin’s nose felt hot, and his saliva production increased too. “And above the waist, on the right.”

These spots really were red. Zhang Zhun was afraid of rubbing too hard, so he first tested the pressure on the left shoulder. He was semi professional about it. When he rubbed, he didn’t use his fingers but his palm. With every press, Zhen Xin hummed with comfort.

“Can you… not make noise.” Zhang Zhun was so embarrassed his face turned bright red.

“When your martial arts brother ‘rubbed’ you,” Zhen Xin deliberately bit hard on that word “rubbed,” “you hummed louder than me.”

He mentioned Wu Rong. Zhang Zhun knew this was a topic he couldn’t touch, so he just stayed silent. After rubbing for a while, Zhen Xin told him to go lower, so he followed the lines of muscle and bone, pressing light and heavy as he went. Though ointment absorbs faster than essential oil, most of the back and waist were still glistening. He finally rubbed down to the small of the back, but Zhen Xin wanted him to go even lower. He awkwardly refused. “That’s the end of it.”

Zhen Xin was practically desperate, pulling down his underwear. “Give me a rub down there. Hurry.”

It was a man’s butt, full and firm. Every muscle showed a clear direction. Right now it was tensing and relaxing, rubbing against the bedsheet. Zhang Zhun was so ashamed he was almost angry. With one lift of his hand, he pulled them back up. But in that one instant, Zhen Xin reached back and grabbed his wrist, forcefully pulling it toward his own underwear. This was blatant hooliganism. Zhang Zhun struggled twice but couldn’t break free. He knew best himself that he was too weak to struggle.

“It really hurts.” Zhen Xin thrust his butt upward, foolishly wanting to press against his palm. But Zhang Zhun was gripping his fist tight.

“If you don’t rub it, it’ll bruise by tomorrow. During filming I’ll just have to tough it out.”

Zhang Zhun knew he couldn’t trust him, but for some reason his heart softened. He didn’t know what kind of mindset he was in. Like a two faced loose woman, he actually voluntarily relaxed his fingers, wrapping them around that lively flesh, pressing down in a half rub.

Zhen Xin immediately let out a satisfied sigh. “You’ve got great hand strength!”

He was still holding onto Zhang Zhun’s wrist. Zhang Zhun said bashfully, “Let go.”

He pretended not to hear. “You’re rubbing me so hard I’m getting stiff…”

Zhang Zhun knew he’d been hard for a while. Just as he was half pushing, half giving in, about to submit to this ambiguity, Zhen Xin pressed his hand to make him turn over. Zhang Zhun watched as his own hand slid from the round butt inside the underwear to the protruding waist, took a turn at the hip bone, and landed in the hollow of the abdominal muscles, and then…

He jerked his hand back as if burned. Zhen Xin lay on his back looking at him, grinning wickedly. One hand rested leisurely behind his head. The other reached for Zhang Zhun’s hand, held it properly for a moment, then shamelessly pried open that palm and interlaced their fingers. Zhang Zhun didn’t dare look up. Zhen Xin’s gaze at him was naked. He was afraid that if he met his eyes even once, he wouldn’t be able to pull himself out.

“Your hand is so oily…” Zhen Xin used his own clean palm to rub against Zhang Zhun’s ointment covered palm. Their hands got oilier and oilier as they rubbed. Even between their fingers it was greasy. Zhen Xin used some kind of nightclub massage technique, rhythmically pushing and squeezing his palm. With every push and release, there were squelching sounds.

Such a filthy sexual innuendo. Zhang Zhun was so ashamed his eyelashes trembled. “Where… where did you learn that!”

Zhen Xin gave him a gentle tug, like pulling a ripe apricot from a fruit tree, like pulling a passing shooting star from the edge of the sky. He pulled him down onto the bed, down beside himself. “Enjoying it?”

Their faces were pressed together. Eyes looked into eyes. Lips were only a finger’s width apart. “Are we…” Zhang Zhun asked in bewilderment, “acting, or are we serious?”

Zhen Xin looked at him calmly and slowly said, “I’m seducing you… aren’t I?”

Zhang Zhun immediately realized he was quoting Gao Zhun’s line. “Nonsense,” he mechanically continued. “You’re just emotionally unstable. You don’t even know what you’re doing.”

“No,” Zhen Xin denied it firmly. “I am seducing you.”

The next line was on the tip of his tongue, but Zhang Zhun didn’t want to say it. Zhen Xin closed his eyes and waited for him. Reluctantly, he said it. “You’re straight. I’m straight. There’s no such thing as seducing…”

Zhen Xin opened his eyes, smiled, and leaned toward him. “See, we’re just running lines. Don’t stress so much.” Then he kissed him, his tongue recklessly licking the inside of his mouth. His lower body thrust again and again between Zhang Zhun’s legs. Zhang Zhun felt his head explode. Was this really just running lines? Zhen Xin undid his belt, pulling his pants down like he was about to have real sex. Was this all he wanted, just running lines?

“It’s been too long,” Zhen Xin murmured dizzily in his ear. “We haven’t had it for too long…”

Zhang Zhun suddenly thought, just let it be. What vows of eternal love do two men need… He wrapped his arms around him in return, like a hungry woman embracing a stranger of unknown origin. He thought of that “dream” of his. In the “dream,” he and Zhen Xin tangled together as if facing death, his waist thrusting without pause, his lower body rubbing tirelessly. That “dream” was about to come true. Once he took this step, there was no going back. Trembling, he shamelessly pulled off his own underwear.

Zhen Xin didn’t seem to be in a hurry. He slipped his greasy hand between Zhang Zhun’s legs, gripped the base of his right thigh, and pinched hard. “He kicked you here, right?”

It was there. Zhang Zhun winced from the pain. Within the pain was an indescribable tingling numbness, probably the arousal stirred up by the teasing. Zhen Xin played with his appetite with bad intentions. “Come, let me rub it for you.”

He really started rubbing, in a very lewd and perverted way. His fingers pinched the base of the thigh and wouldn’t let go. The back of his hand forcefully ground against Zhang Zhun’s swollen, erect penis. Zhang Zhun was so excited he couldn’t take it. His arms went numb, unable to cling to his shoulders. “Do… do me…” His eyes were full of watery light, his mouth puffing out cold air. Zhen Xin gazed at his wantonness with fascination. “Know why I beat him up?”

Zhang Zhun shook his head with his mouth open, his two eyes unfocused. Zhen Xin’s hand slid from the base of his thigh to his butt crack, scratching along that damp crevice. “He said you looked like you’d be great in bed…”

It took Zhang Zhun a long time to process what he meant. His dark eyes glared angrily. Zhen Xin bit his chin, light then heavy. “Tell me, should I have beaten him up?” His fingers probed deeper into the butt crack. “He also said, once you get broken in… you’d be especially wild.”

These words, even as dirty talk, were too much. In a fit of anger, Zhang Zhun swung a fist at him. The punch was soft and weak. Zhen Xin caught it easily. “Xiao Deng went to drop off Wu Rong. He should be back by now, right?”

Zhang Zhun simply couldn’t follow his train of thought. He frowned, staring at him in confusion. Zhen Xin said, “Coming to my place?”

Zhang Zhun’s entire body flushed red from head to toe. Only now did he understand Zhen Xin’s step by step buildup. From rubbing medicine to teasing, from running lines to playing with his appetite, from those words to Xiao Deng. This was a naked invitation for sex. He wanted to be with him…

“I… haven’t decided.” Zhang Zhun’s eyes wandered. It was clear he was afraid of that kind of act.

“I’ll lick you,” Zhen Xin pornographically stuck out his tongue, obscenely curling it before his eyes. “Front and back, I’ll lick you all over…”

A flash of surprise showed in Zhang Zhun’s eyes. He didn’t know that “the back” could be licked. He couldn’t even imagine Zhen Xin licking him there. “What nonsense…”

Zhen Xin was unexpectedly struck by his innocence. “Your back… has never been licked?”

Zhang Zhun glanced at him timidly. “Who would let someone lick that kind of place?”

Zhen Xin couldn’t believe it. “You never go to nightclubs?”

“They do this at nightclubs?” Zhang Zhun showed an expression of surprise. Within the surprise was even a hint of disgust. Zhen Xin suddenly felt somewhat at a loss. “No, not… that… then what about the front, you…”

Zhang Zhun shook his head, his face red. As he shook, he thought of that absurd “dream.” He lowered his brows and saw Zhen Xin’s hand on his thigh. He felt that since things had come this far, he could tell him. “I had a dream like that…” His voice was as small as a mosquito’s buzz. “That time when we went singing, I drank too much. I dreamed of you…”

Zhen Xin’s face suddenly changed. Zhang Zhun was talking about that time. He had blacked out from drinking, and Zhen Xin had tossed him back and forth… So he thought it was a dream. No wonder he hadn’t come to settle accounts the next day, but instead seemed very… shy! A layer of cold sweat seeped through Zhen Xin’s back. His hand withdrew from Zhang Zhun’s thigh.

Such a private, even wanton confession weighed so heavily that Zhang Zhun couldn’t lift his head. “Am I going crazy?”

Zhen Xin felt like his throat was being strangled by a rope. He couldn’t get a single word out. Zhang Zhun waited for his answer but got none. He raised his pale pink eye corners to steal a glance at him. That look was clearly filled with affection. Zhen Xin panicked. He had never played this kind of game. With so many casual flings on and off set, he had never seen eyes like these. He was a bit dazed. But Zhang Zhun seemed to have figured something out. He hooked his arm around Zhen Xin’s neck, his eyes carrying affection yet dodging, and leaned his lips toward him.

A kiss. A very simple, very brief kiss. After the kiss, he pulled away. Zhang Zhun gazed into Zhen Xin’s eyes from an extremely close distance, as if making a final confirmation of what he had just done and who he was facing. Soon, he kissed him a second time. This time was much bolder. His tongue brushed past teeth, pressing against the gums. His lips greedily sucked at the corner of Zhen Xin’s mouth without stopping. The tiny cartilage of his nose rubbed haphazardly against Zhen Xin’s face. Compared to intense sex, this kind of prolonged kissing seemed to better express the feelings he dared not speak aloud.

Zhen Xin had never tasted this kind of kiss. It was clearly a boring game played by middle schoolers, yet he couldn’t withstand it. His heart was like a clumsy drummer, awkward and tense, unable to beat out a steady rhythm. His lungs also went on strike. Hot air breathed out, but he couldn’t seem to draw any back in. In a daze, he had the illusion that his life was quietly slipping away.

Zhang Zhun felt his breathing go chaotic, so he stopped. He gently stroked the curls above Zhen Xin’s eyebrows. Zhen Xin slowly opened his eyes, carrying the restlessness of someone just out of water and the panic of someone experiencing this for the first time. Then, without knowing who took the initiative, they kissed again. Just kissing. No touching. No teasing. Forehead pressed against forehead. Toes curled around toes.

“Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream…” Zhen Xin’s phone rang. He didn’t even look at it and directly turned it off.

One long kiss after another. Saliva trickled from their chins down to their necks. Their lips were rubbed raw from grinding against each other. The ear pressed against the bedsheet was rubbed red by the cotton fabric. Zhen Xin felt like a lifetime might just pass like this. He even absurdly thought that even if a lifetime did pass like this, it wouldn’t be a waste.

“To your place?” Oxygen deprived, or perhaps weary from the long kissing, Zhen Xin was muddleheaded. Zhang Zhun asked him.

This wasn’t how he had imagined it. Zhen Xin pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt Zhang Zhun beside him pull up his pants, flip over, and straddle him. Then a pair of trembling hands helped pull up his pants too. He was tipsy and somewhat wanted to laugh. He squinted and looked up. Zhang Zhun tilted his head. The dim yellow light from the ceiling lamp shone down through the gaps in those messy strands of hair. It was almost too beautiful.

“We’re not in a play. This is real,” Zhen Xin tangled his fingers in those strands of hair, unintentionally speaking his heart. “My god.”

Zhang Zhun gathered his hair, pulled him up, put on clothes, and opened the door. They walked one after another toward the emergency stairwell. As soon as the milky white stairwell door was pushed open, Zhen Xin turned back and grabbed Zhang Zhun’s hand. They didn’t speak, lightly hopping up the stairs. Around the corner was the door to the thirty eighth floor. The stairwell door opened and closed. The long corridor stretched endlessly. Far down the hall, a huge suitcase could be seen.

They didn’t think much of it. Hand in hand, they walked all the way over. As they neared the door, Zhen Xin realized that suitcase was placed in front of his door. Almost at the very second before bad luck came knocking, he violently shook off Zhang Zhun’s hand. He turned around, and sure enough, from the shadow of the tall potted plants, a figure walked out. A little Western style dress. A doll like face. Long black hair. She glanced at Zhang Zhun and spoke to Zhen Xin in a cutesy, spoiled voice. “Honey, why didn’t you pick up my call!”